Hearthstone Card Descriptions & Dialogue List #6: Mean Streets of Gadgetzan

Mean Streets of Gadgetzan

Neutral Cards:

• Mistress of Mixtures: Her favorite mixture is cola and lime.
• Play: “Side effects? None… trust me.”
• Attack: “This might sting.”
• Patches the Pirate: What do sailors yell when Patches steals their treasure chest full of laws and other things being transported to parliament for a vote? "The Eyes have it!"
• Play: “I’m in charge, now.”
• Attack: “Aye aye!”
• Death: “Ayeee-”
• Small-Time Buccaneer: "Oh, I'm not serious about it. I only pirate on the weekends."
• Play: “Who goes tharrr?”
• Weasel Tunneler: He's the reason the First Bank of Gadgetzan has steel floors.
• Blowgill Sniper: Imagine how much further his darts would go if he had lungs instead of gills!
• Dirty Rat: It's not his fault… Someone keeps stealing his soap!
• Play: “I ain’t talkin’!”
• Attack: “Me talk! Me talk!”
• Friendly Bartender: "What'll it be? A Jade Brew? A Grimy Goose? A Kabal Manatini?"
• Play: “Don’t forget to tip the Tauren!”
• Attack: “Bottoms up!”
• Gadgetzan Socialite: Comment on her height, and she'll go from flapper to kneecapper in seconds flat.
• Play: “Dance with me!”
• Attack: “Applesauce!”
• Auctionmaster Beardo: Gadgetzan has always run an under-the-table auction house, and business has been PRETTY good for Beardo since the population explosion. And since the explosion that destroyed the competing auction houses in the city.
• Play: “Time is money, friend!”
• Attack: “No time!”
• Backstreet Leper: Quit playing games with his heart. And his fingers. And foot. It's rude.
• Play: “You feel icky!”
• Attack: “All right!”
• Death: “Oooh icky!”
• Blubber Baron: When oil, railroad, steel, robber, and red are all already taken, your options are limited.
• Play: “One fer da boss, two fer me! Hee hee.”
• Death: “B-b-b-busted!”
• Fel Orc Soulfiend: “Doc says the persistent burning sensation in my soul is probably just an ulcer.”
• Play: “Power consumes me.”
• Attack: “Perish!”
• Hired Gun: He loves his job and would do it for free! (But don't tell his boss!)
• Play: “Talk about a nice suit!”
• Attack: “Fire! Everything!”
• Sergeant Sally: "Who is she? Where did she come from? We don't even have a police force here in Gadgetzan!!" - Mayor Noggenfogger
• Play: “Back in the slammer!”
• Attack: “Freeze!”
• Street Trickster: His first trick: making your wallet disappear!
• Play: “I just need a volunteer!”
• Attack: “Ala-Kabal!”
• Toxic Sewer Ooze: When Sergeant Sally shows up unexpectedly, DO NOT FLUSH YOUR MANA CRYSTALS DOWN THE TOILET.
• Backroom Bruiser: "WHY ARE YOU IN THE BACK ROOM? WHO IS WATCHING THE FRONT?!"
• Play: “You on the list?”
• Attack: “Back of the line!”
• Daring Reporter: She's working on a story! While skydiving!
• Play: “Gadgetzan Gazette always gets the scoop!”
• Attack: “I want answers!”
• Genzo, the Shark: Infamous in the seedy underground card rooms of Gadgetzan, he got his nickname winning the coveted Shark Plushie in the city's first Hearthstone tournament.
• Play: “Pick a card. Any card…”
• Attack: “Go fish.”
• Hozen Healer: He didn't go to school for healing, but we keep losing all the good healers to Ratchet, so I guess we'll take him.
• Summon: “What doesn’t blook you will grook you.”
• Attack: “Hoo hoo hi-yah!”
• Kooky Chemist: #abs
• Play: “Delicious! Spider ichor!”
• Attack: “Have another dose!”
• Death: “It hurts!”
• Naga Corsair: Hook-tails are nice and all but she keeps getting stuck on things.
• Play: “Sssscuttle the ship!”
• Attack: “Taste my blades-ssss!”
• Tanaris Hogchopper: The Hogchoppers are well-known throughout Kalimdor for being a real, actual group.
• Play: “Born to be -burp- wild.”
• Attack: “R- Ride free!”
• Worgen Greaser: Hair products are 79% of his monthly budget.
• Play: “I’m nothing but a hound dog.”
• Attack: “Watch the hair!”
• Bomb Squad: Please don't explode! Please don't explode! Please don't explode!
• Play: “It’s boom o’clock!”
• Attack: “Boom! Ha!”
• Death: “Bombs… away…”
• Burgly Bully: He only burgles to pay the bills. He is really just a bully at heart.
• Play: “Shiny…”
• Attack: “Troggle troggle.”
• Doppelgangster: "Every me, get in here!"
• Play: “Get ‘em, boys.”
• Attack: “All fer one!”
• Doppelgangster: [summoned by Doppelgangster]
• Play: “Seeing triple?”
• Attack: [first clone] “Such a shame!”
• Attack: [second clone] “A pity…”
• Finja, the Flying Star: The last true master of Finjitsu.
• Grook-Fu Master: Grook Fu, the ancient Hozen art of bashing heads with a stick.
• Play: “Weak slickies good for grooking.”
• Attack: “G-g-grook ‘em!”
• Red Mana Wyrm: It has double the Attack. "Go on." And double the Health. "Yes??" And its trigger has twice the effect. "WHAT???" And it costs… Five times more.
• Second Rate Bruiser: He'll be a first-rate bruiser once he gets used to his contacts.
• Play: “I’m not rea-dy.”
• Spiked Hogrider: Did you know the Hogchoppers compete every year at the Mirage Raceway? They do. It's a real group.
• Play: “Livin’ high on the hog.”
• Attack 1: “This piggy’s goin’ to market.”
• Attack 2: “Mm, bacon!”
• Attack 3: “It’s butcherin’ time!”
• Streetwise Investigator: "Hmmmm… Call it a hunch, but I'm starting to think that there may be some kind of criminal activity going on in Gadgetzan."
• Play: “You can’t hide from me!”
• Attack: “Hey, you!”
• Death: “Gggaah come on!”
• Ancient of Blossoms: His new shampoo is really working!
• Big-Time Racketeer: "It'd be a shame if someone disenchanted those Legendaries."
• Play: “Say hello to my little friend!”
• “Little Friend”: [Summoned by Big-Time Racketeer]
• Play: “Helloooo.”
• Attack: “Get ‘em.”
• Defias Cleaner: His house cleaning service is quite thorough. Not a spot to be found... or any of your stuff!
• Play: “Just. Act. Natural.”
• Attack: “Easy.”
• Fight Promoter: "Yeah, I can get you Knuckles. No, no, he's been clean for *weeks*."
• Play: “Hey. You need tickets?”
• Attack: “Fight!”
• Leatherclad Hogleader: The Hogchoppers, the terrors of Tanaris, can always be found at one tavern or another in Gadgetzan, refueling for totally real and legit adventures that they go on.
• Play: “Hogriders! Roll out!”
• Attack: “Sooo-weee!”
• Madam Goya: She has set up her Black Market here in Gadgetzan for one purpose, to make a KILLING when Beanie Babies make their inevitable comeback.
• Play: “Everyone has a price.”
• Attack: “Your debt. Is due.”
• Wind-Up Burglebot: Don't blame the bot for his crimes... Blame whoever keeps winding him up!
• Play: “Robbery: commencing.”
• Attack: “Do not: resist.”
• Death: “Ow.”
• Wrathion: Wrathion, son of Deathwing, is a dragon. Why isn't he tagged as a dragon, you ask? WHAT, ARE YOU TRYING TO BLOW HIS COVER??
• Play: “I must remain hidden to remain free.”
• Attack: “I am free!”
• Mayor Noggenfogger: This flavor text was randomly generated. If it happens to form words and make sense, that is purely by chance.
• Play: “Welcome to Gadgetzan!”
• Attack: “Hey, beat it!”

Tri-Class Minions: [Grimy Goons, Jade Lotus & Kabal, in that order]

• Grimestreet Informant: "Naw, naw. You're talkin' about Grime BOULEVARD. I ain't know nuthin' 'bout that."
• Play: “Hey, Goons! Over here!”
• Attack: “There they are!”
• Death: “I’m outta here!”
• Grimestreet Smuggler: She's got anything you want. Need the latest derpinger? No problem!
• Play: “What? They fell off a truck.”
• Attack: “A demo.”
• Death: “Outta… bullets…”
• Don Han’Cho: [Grimy Goons] The brilliant mastermind of the Grimy Goons, Han sometimes thinks about ditching the idiot Cho, but that would just tear him apart.
• Play: “Hey. Join da Goons!” “Or meet my fist.”
• Attack: “We’ll handle this.” “SMASH!”
• Jade Spirit: "He's so cute! I just want to squeeze him, then use him for Jade Golem parts!" - Aya Blackpaw
• Lotus Agents: Mostly, they stand around and look cool.
• Play: “Balance in all things.”
• Attack: “Forward.” “Strike.”
• Aya Blackpaw: [Jade Lotus] Though young, Aya took over as the leader of Jade Lotus through her charisma and strategic acumen when her predecessor was accidentally crushed by a jade golem.
• Play: “Golems are a girl’s best friend!”
• Attack: “You die now! [giggles]”
• Death: “You’re no fun~”
• Kabal Courier: Hey, you park your kodo under a harpy nest, you get what you deserve.
• Play: “CRYSSS-TALS! Fresh from Kazakus!”
• Kabal Chemist: Sure you could have that Polymorph potion, but wouldn't you rather have this mystery potion? It could be anything. Even a Polymorph potion!
• Play: “Drink the power.”
• Attack: “Drink up!”
• Kazakus: [Kabal] The mysterious leader of the Kabal is NOT a dragon, and does NOT deal in illegal potions. Any public statements to the contrary will be met with litigation and Dragonfire Potions.
• Play: “At last. A worthy disciple.”
• Attack: “Serve. Or die.”

Druid Cards:

• Celestial Dreamer: If you think her job is easy, YOU try falling asleep on cue.
• Play: “Form of… dragon!”
• Attack: “Power!”
• Virmen Sensei: There is no carrot.
• Play: “May the carrot guide you!”
• Attack: “Carrottttt chop!”
• Jade Behemoth: I think we should talk about the jade elephant in the room.
• Kun, the Forgotten King: Aya siphons a bit of Kun's soul to animate each golem in her Jade army. To his credit, he's being a great sport about it.
• Play: “A Hundred Kings will rise again!
• Attack: “BEND! To my will!” 
• Jade Idol: Shuffle or no guts.
• Mark of the Lotus: The mark of the Lotus is a little flower drawn in permanent marker on the ankle.
• Jade Blossom: Meditating under a jade blossom is said to grant you wisdom, unless you have a pollen allergy.
• Pilfered Power: The Hozen don't get paid much, but at least they get to keep any excess mana.
• Lunar Visions: The true mystery of lunar visions is how there is nothing to watch when there are so many channels.

Hunter Cards:

• Alleycat: To be a cool cat in Gadgetzan, you gotta have bling.
• Trogg Beastrager: Still angry that the Gadgetzan Rager Club wouldn't accept him as a member.
• Play: “Trogg tame stupid!”
• Attack: “Trogg smash!”
• Rat Pack: He's gonna do it his way.
• Shaky Zipgunner: The Grimy Goons can get you any weapon you want but if you want it to not explode you gotta pay extra.
• Play: “T-this n-no look safe!”
• Dispatch Kodo: "Crime reported at First Bank of Gadgetzan. Huge quantities of Jade being carried away by what looks like a bunch of Hozen. Kodo 77 can you make it over there now?"
• Knuckles: When confronted with accusations of performance-enhancing bananas, Knuckles replied, "I get my fruit from trees I knock down with my bare hands like everyone else."
• Smuggler’s Crate: Are you sure these are the crates that are supposed to go to the Gadgetzan petting zoo?
• Hidden Cache: There is an urban legend that the first Toxic Sewer Ooze was born because a rookie Goon stashed an open container of milk in a Hidden Cache.
• Piranha Launcher: A great improvement over the guppy launcher.

Mage Cards:

• Kabal Lackey: I'll tell you one thing he doesn't lack: GUMPTION.
• Play: “I’m wit’ da Kabal!”
• Attack: “Kabaaaal business!”
• Manic Soulcaster: When casting a tournament, you really have to put your soul into it!
• Play: “It only costs my soul!”
• Attack: “Ugh. Swords.”
• Cryomancer: She loves Frozen. I mean who doesn't?
• Play: “You are shivering.”
• Attack: “Freeeeeze.”
• Kabal Crystal Runner: "Listen, I can cut you in on a little of this premium mana, but you can't tell my boss."
• Play: “I’m late. I’m late!”
• Attack: “Quickly!”
• Inkmaster Solia: Solia marks the Kabal with intricate tattoos that grant immense power. Also it makes it harder for other gangs to recruit from their numbers. BACK OFF, GOONS.
• Play: “Embrace the power of the Kabal!”
• Attack: “So! MUCH! POWER!”
• Freezing Potion: This is delicious! Oh no. BRAIN FREEEEEEEZE!
• Potion of Polymorph: Tastes like Baaaaananas.
• Volcanic Potion: The secret ingredient in Kazakus's award-winning chili recipe.
• Greater Arcane Missiles: Wow, and I thought Arcane Missiles was great!

Paladin Cards:

• Grimscale Chum: Listen, see? We'll take 'em to the docks, see? And throw 'em in the sea, see?
• Meanstreet Marshal: Remember, submit your bribes directly to the Marshal - it's the law!
• Play: “You gonna sleep with the fishes.”
• Attack: “Ya see?”
• Grimestreet Outfitter: If you bargain hard, he'll throw in the hat.
• Play: “Accidents! They happen, y’know?”
• Attack: “Aw, too bad!”
• Death: “What? Really? Ugh.”
• Wickerflame Burnbristle: Wickerflame spent years as a recruit for the Goons, never making the big-time because he always fired his chest-cannon too slowly. "Hey," he thought, "maybe if I keep my beard lit on fire, I can do this faster." BOOM, promoted.
• Play: “WOOO I’m on fire!”
• Attack: “Light ‘em up!”
• Grimestreet Enforcer: "Sir, you don't have a permit to park your mount here."
• Play: “Ya gotta pay up!”
• Attack: “Now!”
• Grimestreet Protector: Some new asphalt should do the trick.
• Play: “You pay, I protect.”
• Attack: “Shoulda paid!”
• Getaway Kodo: Get to da Kodo! Now!
• Smuggler’s Run: One of the most famous busts in Gadgetzan’s history happened on Smuggler’s Run, where Sergeant Sally apprehended a cadre of Grimy Goons transporting a massive number of illegal fish heads.
• Small-Time Recruits: Now we know why they wear tiny watches.

Priest Cards:

• Mana Geode: Gadgetzan, where even the pet rocks have pet rocks.
• Kabal Talonpriest: Inkmaster Solia had to figure out how to tattoo feathers.
• Play: “You wish to live forever?”
• Attack: “Hmm, your soul.”
• Drakonid Operative: His job is to spy on the Goons and the Jade Lotus, but he's OBVIOUSLY a dragon so it's pretty hard work.
• Play: “Secret agent! Coming through!”
• Attack: “Move aside!”
• Kabal Songstealer: Gadgetzan Writer’s Award goes to the player who writes the most compelling fanfic about why this Arrakoa has a golden frog in his hand!
• Play: “I see gold in your future.”
• Raza the Chained: "Could you do me a favor and get the keys from Kazakus?"
• Play: “Surrender your will… to the Kabal.”
• Attack: “I will bind you.”
• Pint-Size Potion: I hope you didn't disenchant your Shadow Word: Horror!
• Potion of Madness: You'd be insane NOT to drink it!
• Greater Healing Potion: Filled with electrolytes!
• Dragonfire Potion: No one was brave enough to fire the dragon in person… so they made the potion do it.

Rogue Cards:

• Gadgetzan Ferryman: Is it just me, or is there something fishy about that ferryman?
• Play: “Need a ride?”
• Attack: “Cast off!”
• Jade Swarmer: He's so good at swarming, he can swarm all by himself!
• Play: “The hidden army rises!”
• Attack: “Swarm!”
• Shadow Rager: WE WENT THERE!
• Shaku, the Collector: Aya even staged an intervention once, but Shaku still insists that he is not a hoarder.
• Play: “Succumb to your darkness…”
• Attack: “Give in…”
• Shadow Sensei: He used to be Aya's tutor, but she fired him for bugging her too much.
• Play: “Learn! The shadow listens!”
• Attack: “From shadow, strike!”
• Lotus Assassin: For 5000g, you can just give the Jade Lotus any name and they will assassinate and/or embarrass them.
• Play: “None… see the Lotus.”
• Attack: “No witnesses.”
• Luckydo Buccaneer: You can't just leave a Luckydo somewhere. You gotta keep 'em with you! Especially in Gadgetzan!
• Play: “Looking for me buried treasure?”
• Attack: “Get your own!”
• Counterfeit Coin: There is something funny about this coin… can't quite put my finger on it…
• Jade Shuriken: Good news is, after you remove it from your wound, you can use it to pay your medical bills!

Shaman Cards:

• Jinyu Waterspeaker: Waterspeakers can tell the future! So the Jade Lotus employs them to speculate on the Auction House.
• Play: “May your feet never brine.”
• Attack: “Tide rrrises!”
• Lotus Illusionist: If you think her Illidan and Sylvanas cosplay is great, wait till you see her Reno Jackson!
• Play: “The Lotus… blossoms.”
• Attack: “I strike!”
• Jade Chieftain: Seeing his Jade Golem grow up into the tall, handsome 6/6 standing before him was the proudest moment of his life.
• Play: “Warriors. Come out to play!”
• Attack: “A… rise!”
• White Eyes: My life for Aya!
• Play: “My life is your shield.”
• Attack: “I protect!”
• The Storm Guardian: [Summoned by White Eyes]
• Play: “Bow before the fury of the storm!”
• Attack: “Lightning strikes!”
• Finders Keepers: INFINITE LOOP!
• Devolve: Ragnaros looked down. He looked like some kind of War Golem. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME," he yelled. But all that came out was a deep grinding sound. He began to cry.
• Call in the Finishers: When you really need a job done… but you don't really care if it gets done right
• Jade Lightning: Jade Lightning, goooo Jade Lightning!
• Jade Claws: "Best manicure ever!" - Aya Blackpaw

Warlock Cards:

• Unlicensed Apothecary: Get the ingredients wrong on ONE healing potion and they take your license. What a world!
• Play: “Join the Kabal, they said! Hmph!”
• Attack: “Wanna drink? Hehehehehahehae!”
• Crystalweaver: The trick is soaking the crystals in warm milk to soften them up.
• Play: “Total corruption, total POWER!”
• Attack: “At ANY price!”
• Seadevil Stinger: Pretty harmless unless you're a Seadevil.
• Kabal Trafficker: She ships illicit mana crystals around the world in packages marked: FUNNEL CAKE.
• Play: “Careful… they bite!”
• Attack: “Warned you!”
• Abyssal Enforcer: The Kabal print this on every package of illicit Mana Crystals: WARNING - DO NOT PUT WITHIN REACH OF ABYSSALS. THIS IS NOT APPROVED FOR USE BY FLAMING DEMONS OF ANY KIND.
• Krul the Unchained: Spicklefizz pondered his life choices as he looked at the chain around his neck. "Become a warlock," they said. "You get to enslave demons," they said.
• Play: “I am the Void. I am YOUR master.”
• Attack: “As I command.”
• Bloodfury Potion: You know what really makes my blood boil? The skyrocketing price of Bloodfury potions!
• Blastcrystal Potion: There's a fine line between "potion" and "grenade". Wait. Actually, there's not.
• Felfire Potion: Kazakus has a squad of imps bottling Felfire round-the-clock and he *still* can't keep up with demand.

Warrior Cards:

• Hobart Grapplehammer: Grapplehammer is the horrible mind behind the Automatic Piranaha Launcher (banned in 7 districts)!
• Play: “Prepare the Mecha Chicken!”
• Attack: “An experiment!”
• Public Defender: Happy to defend any public offender!
• Play: “No body, no crime.”
• Attack: “Defend yourself!”
• Grimestreet Pawnbroker: "I don't know a lot about used GvG cards, so I'm going to have to call in an expert."
• Play: “Go ahead! Blow something up!”
• Attack: “Rockets away!”
• Grimy Gadgeteer: "You look like a Gadgetgun 3000-Mark IV man, am I right?"
• Play: “A-hem. The Whizz-banger Mark Seven.”
• Attack: “I’d feel bad but I don’t.”
• Death: “Booo! Misfire!”
• Alley Armorsmith: The rent is cheap and she passes the savings onto YOU!
• Play: “Suck Gadgetzan steel.”
• Attack: “Take this!”
• I Know a Guy: Well… a guy who knows a guy.
• Sleep with the Fishes: If you're sleeping with the fishes, we highly suggest not bringing an electric blanket.
• Stolen Goods: It fell off a kodo, I promise!
• Brass Knuckles: For the goon that wants to make a fashion statement.

Hearthstone Card Descriptions & Dialogue List #5: Whispers of the Old Gods & One Night in Karazhan

Whispers of the Old Gods

Neutral Cards:

• Shifter Zerus: It's like being able to play with THREE angry chickens!
• Tentacle of N'Zoth: Because EVERYDAY is the Day of the Tentacle of N'zoth.
• Zealous Initiate: Ok, Initiate. You need to settle down and do your job. In this case, that means die so someone else can get a minor buff.
• Play: "The master hungers."
• Attack: "Feed him."
• Beckoner of Evil: Here, Evil! C'mon boy!
• Play: "Are you my master?"
• Attack: "This way."
• Bilefin Tidehunter: Bile actually makes for surprisingly sturdy fins.
• Duskboar: Often excluded from dinner parties. To be fair, he is very boaring.
• Nat, the Darkfisher: You can take away his humanity, but you will never take away his fishing pole.
• Play: "I fish bigger game!"
• Attack: "Ah, caught one!"
• Twilight Geomancer: "Ok C'Thun, repeat after me: 'Your mother was a hamster.'"
• Play: "Oops. I broke a diamond!"
• Attack: "Ruby to the face!"
• Twisted Worgen: Sometimes the Old Gods' corruptions gives you power untold, sometimes you get +1 Attack. We can’t all be winners in the Eldritch lottery.
• Play: "Rrr. I taste blood!"
• Attack: "Killing spree!"
• Am'gam Rager: preec rewop
• Disciple of C'Thun: C’Thun’s recruiting pitch involves cookies, which is why it’s the most popular Old God.
• Play: "C'Thun. C'THUN! C'THUNNNN!"
• Attack: "C'Thun!"
• Silithid Swarmer: If your hero doesn't attack, it's just "Silithid Loner".
• Spawn of N'Zoth: Who's a cute widdle N'Zoth? You are! Yes you are! Yes you're the cutest widdle N'Zoth in the whole world!!!
• Squirming Tentacle: Yeah, I think we can agree that killing the squirming tentacle first is a good idea.
• Twilight Elder: Just doesn't understand those Twilight Youngsters any more - with their comic books and their rock music.
• Play: "Do you hear its caaaaall?"
• Attack: "It's coming!"
• Trigger: "Listen closely!"
• Aberrant Berserker: I berserk, therefore I am.
• Play: "It's time for a lotta blood."
• Attack: "Ha! Kill'em all!"
• Blackwater Pirate: "Look, they fell off the back of a ship, do you want them or not? I have a meeting with Y'Shaarj in like ten minutes."
• Play: "I sail the slimy depths."
• Attack: "Walk the plank."
• C'Thun's Chosen: He gave her a promise ring and everything.
• Play: "C'Thun is my shield."
• Attack: "I obey."
• Death: "I serve."
• Cyclopian Horror: What are the qualifications for being a 'Horror?' Just how horrible do you have to be?
• Eater of Secrets: You don't want to be around after it has eaten an explosive trap. You thought Sludge Belcher was bad...
• Play: "I know who you are..."
• Attack: "Delicious!"
• Evolved Kobold: You no take tentacle!
• Play: "I take YOUR candle!"
• Attack: "Hahaha! Thank you!"
• Death: "Mine!"
• Faceless Shambler:  "What is that thing?!" "I'm not sure, but it seems to be sort of Y'sera shaped."
• Infested Tauren: The Overmind and the Old Gods are surprisingly similar.
• Play: "Forrrr theee Swarmmm..."
• Attack: "Gladlyyyy..."
• Midnight Drake: Still fearsome in the daytime.
• Polluted Hoarder: Roll ‘greed’ OR THIS COULD HAPPEN TO YOU.
• Play: "Mine! All mine!"
• Attack: "Gimme!"
• Twilight Summoner: If you strike him down, he shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.
• Play: "Dis document looks legally bindin'."
• Attack: "Signed in blood."
• Death: "Wait what?"
• Corrupted Healbot: Not so much "corrupted" as "has terrible aim".
• Crazed Worshipper: Every month they share a pancake breakfast with the Perfectly Rational Worshippers.
• Play: "Ah bleed fer C'thun!"
• Attack: "Feel mah pain!"
• Cult Apothecary: Cults need pharmacists too.
• Play: "Take your medicine."
• Attack: "Drink up."
• Darkspeaker: People often think that Darkspeaker is the arch nemesis of Lightspeaker, but that title actually belongs to Heavyspeaker.
• Psych-o-Tron: "Annoyinger-o-Tron" was just too unwieldy. And accurate.
• Play: "Hell-o hell-o hell-o."
• Attack: "HELL-O!"
• Death: "Helloooo."
• Validated Doomsayer: Really feels good about himself and is in a much better place now. But… he sure does miss piloting those shredders.
• Play: "I was right all along. Hahahaha!"
• Attack: "Ooohhahahahaha!"
• Ancient Harbinger: "honey, can u run down to the store and pick up some 10 cost minions? thx"
• Play: "Heed the call of C'Thun!" 
• Attack: "Listen!"
• Corrupted Seer: For seers, it's very handy to have your crystal ball hanging right in front of your face.
• Mukla, Tyrant of the Vale: Pro tip: DO NOT BOGART THE BANANAS.
• Nerubian Prophet: It’s a self-reducing prophecy.
• Scaled Nightmare: I like it because it scales.
• Skeram Cultist: Just before he comes into play, there is an AWESOME training montage with C'thun.
• Play: "The Sleeper has awoken!"
• Attack: "Oh, it rises!"
• Bog Creeper: He's tried other things, but bog sidling, bog ambling, and bog trundling just aren't as effective as bog creeping.
• Grotesque Dragonhawk: They say that "grotesque is in the eye of the beholder," but that's just because they've never seen a Grotesque Dragonhawk. Yikes!
• Hogger, Doom of Elwynn: When C'thun went to sleep, he checked under his bed for Hogger.
• Twin Emperor Vek'lor: Do they make decisions based on age? "I'm two minutes older therefore we burn this village."
• Play: "The feast of souls begins now!"
• Attack: "There will be pain!"
• Twin Emperor Vek'nilash: [Summoned by Twin Emperor Vek'lor]
• Play: "Come, little ones."
• Attack: "So much pain!"
• Doomcaller: "Hello, is Doom there? No? Can I leave a message?"
• Play: "The symphony of terror begins."
• Attack: "Cower, fool!"
• Eldritch Horror: Often wonders what path his life might have taken if he wasn't named, you know, "Eldritch Horror".
• Play: "Terror absolute."
• Attack: "Flesh fails."
• The Boogeymonster: Has 20 years of training in classical ballet, but ALLLLLL he ever gets asked to do is boogie.
• Play: "This world, so delicious."
• Attack: "Tasty mortal!"
• Blood of the Ancient One: Add two cups of Blood of the Ancient One to one cup of lemon juice. Add just a dash of sugar and stir. Delicious!
• The Ancient One: [Summoned by Blood of the Ancient One]
• Play: "The doom of worlds walks once more!"
• Soggoth the Slitherer: Don't tell Soggoth, but in the future he gets totally owned by the Master's Glaive and his skull becomes a tourist attraction.
• Play: "Fall before the Old Gods."
• Attack: "Kneeeeel."
• C'Thun: C'Thun's least favorite Hearthstone card: Eye for an Eye.
• Play: "My dreaming ends. Your nightmare... begins."
• Attack: "Sleep."
• Buff triggers:
• “Give in to your fear.”
• “Flee. Screaming.”
• “That. Was a mistake.” 
• “It was. Your fault.” 
• “Caress your fear.” 
• “You have already… lost.” 
• “Hope. Is an illusion.” 
• “Your minions think you are weak.” 
• “Your minions will abandon you.” 
• “Your deck betrays you.” 
• “Death. Is close."
• Deathwing, Dragonlord: To his credit, Deathwing really took to heart the feedback he was receiving that he needed to be "more of a team player".
• Play: "The dragons shall kneel before me!"
• Attack: "Puny mortals!"
• Faceless Behemoth: Rejected names: Forty-Foot Faceless, Big ol' No-face, Huge Creature Sans Face, Teddy.
• Play: "Anger. Hatred. Fear."
• Attack: "Pitiful."
• N'Zoth, the Corruptor: Has not been able to get "Under the Sea" out of his head for like FIVE THOUSAND YEARS.
• Play: "I taste the essence of your soul..."
• Attack: "So... sweet..."
• Y'Shaarj, Rage Unbound: When he's working out, he binds all that rage back into a ponytail.
• Play: “Gorge your hatred. Embrace your rage.
• Attack: “I taste fear.”
• Yogg-Saron, Hope's End: I spell your doom... Y-O-U-R D-O-O-M!
• Play: "Bow down before the God of Death."
• Attack: "Death... is eternal."

Druid Cards: 

• Forbidden Ancient: This Ancient was banned from the local tavern after tucking a 'Dr. Boom' up its sleeve.
• Addled Grizzly: Druids who spend too long in bear form are more susceptible to the whispers of the Old Gods. Right now they are whispering the lyrics to "La Bamba".
• Play: "This isn't Moonglade!"
• Attack: "Where?"
• Fandral Staghelm: Always manages to mention "Back when I was creating the World Tree…" in EVERY conversation. Sheesh! Enough already.
• Play: "Behold the rage of the Firelands!"
• Play: [Against Tyrande] "You will lead our people to ruin!"
• Attack: "Nothing but ash!"
• Klaxxi Amber-Weaver: Amberweaving is a specialty course at the local trade school.
• Play: "I protect the Swarm!"
• Attack: "Give it back!"
• Mire Keeper: "Hey.... Is that Mire for sale?" "No. I'm keeping it."
• Play: "The land serves ME!"
• Attack: "Feel my wrath!"
• Dark Arakkoa: There's a whole gradient of Arakkoa! This one is on the darker side.
• Play: "The Ancient One calls!"
• Attack: "By beak and claw!"
• Mark of Y'Shaarj: Y'shaarj had three sons: Mark, Theodore, and Chris.
• Feral Rage: Let's be honest. One option is a lot ragier than the other.
• Wisps of the Old Gods: They're just normal wisps, actually. The "Of the Old Gods" bit is just marketing.

Hunter Cards:

• Fiery Bat: He'll always be our first.
• Carrion Grub: Carrion, my wayward grub.
• Forlorn Stalker: He's going to leave the dying up to you, if that's cool.
• Play: "The beasts betrayed me."
• Attack: "For the eye!"
• Infested Wolf: A little flea powder will fix that right up.
• Princess Huhuran: She flitters around Ahn'Qiraj dreaming of the day she will meet a sweet prince, whom she can lay thousands of eggs with.
• Play: "Soon I will be queen!"
• Attack: "Serve!"
• Giant Sand Worm: Banned from every all-you-can-eat buffet on Azeroth.
• On the Hunt: The mastiff giggles if you don't hit any ducks.
• Infest: The best part is the look on their face when you jump out of the cake! Err… corpse.
• Call of the Wild: "Hello. Misha, Leokk and Huffer aren't here right now, but if you leave a message we'll get back to you right away." BEEP.

Mage Cards:

• Cult Sorcerer: No matter how many times we tell her not to, she keeps feeding C'Thun scraps under the table.
• Play: "Let's make magic!"
• Attack: "Sparkle!" 
• Twilight Flamecaller: Make sure you summon a Twilight Marshmallowcaller too! Mmmm Mmm Mmm!!
• Play: "Can I light your fire?"
• Attack: "Cooking time."
• Demented Frostcaller: He prefers that you refer to him by his nickname: 'Frostwaker.'
• Play: "Feeling chilly?"
• Attack: "Freeze."
• Servant of Yogg-Saron: Yogg-Saron always likes to complain about how he has too many servants and there are too many mouths to feed.
• Faceless Summoner: They never get the recognition they deserve.
• Play: "I'm not lonely anymore!"
• Attack: "No friend?"
• Anomalus: That's short for "Anomnomnomnomalus".
• Play: "Chaos beckons..."
• Attack: "Expiration..."
• Death: "Reality... unwoven..."
• Forbidden Flame: WARNING: This flame is not to be used unless you are a licensed acolyte of the Old Gods.
• Shatter: What's cooler than being cool?
• Cabalist's Tome: What's in there? I bet it's cookie recipes!

Paladin Cards:

• Selfless Hero: "Don't worry about me… I'll just be here... under these tentacles."
• Play: "Nothing scares me... except mice."
• Attack: "Is that it?"
• Death: "Avenge me!"
• Vilefin Inquisitor: Nobody expects the Vilefin Inquisition!
• Steward of Darkshire: Turns out divine shields are way cheaper if you buy in bulk.
• Play: "Back to your homes."
• Attack: "Back!"
• Ragnaros, Lightlord: What happens when you try and corrupt a corrupted firelord? DOUBLE NEGATIVE, INSECT!
• Play: "THE LIGHT PURGES!"
• Attack: "DIE, INSECT!"
• Trigger: "LIVE, INSECT!"
• Death: "Still... too soon." 
• Forbidden Healing: No one's quite sure why it's forbidden. And yes, that should make you nervous.
• Divine Strength: Every year a few paladins get disqualified from the Westfall weight lifting championship for using Divine Strength.
• A Light in the Darkness: Wait, how can you have a light in the dark? If you turn on a light while it’s dark, doesn’t that mean it’s no longer dark?
• Stand Against Darkness: Or if you're too tired, you can just kind of lean against the darkness.
• Rallying Blade: As far as blades go, this one is pretty great in the motivation department.

Priest Cards:

• Hooded Acolyte: Wait, what kind of acolyte doesn’t wear a hood?
• Play: "Do you know the secret handshake?"
• Attack: "Outsider!"
• Shifting Shade: Yeah, it's cooler in the shade, but you're also more likely to get JACKED.
• Play: "My echoes... are eternal."
• Attack: "I go unseen."
• Darkshire Alchemist: The secret ingredient: liquified funnel cake.
• Play: "Just a pinch of ichor."
• Attack: "A new recipe!"
• Twilight Darkmender: First she separates them from the lights, washes them in cold water, and hang-dries.
• Play: "I feast upon the light."
• Attack: "Fade away."
• Herald Volazj: His whole job is yelling "Yogg-Saron comin'!"
• Play: "Gaze... into the void."
• Attack: "Your mind betrays you."
• Forbidden Shaping: But the minion arrives covered in goo.
• Embrace the Shadow: For when your Auchenai Soulpriests call in sick.
• Shadow Word: Horror: It's more succinct than "Shadow Word: Suck Into Vortex."
• Power Word: Tentacles: Because you're wrapped in a protective layer of… tentacles?

Rogue Cards:

• Bladed Cultist: He has a poor understanding of the law of diminishing returns.
• Play: "Mm. You not dat sharp."
• Attack: "A little card."
• Undercity Huckster: Psst! Wanna buy a random class card (from your opponent's class)?
• Play: "Hey, hey, you wanna buy a... funnel cake?"
• Attack: "Buy one!"
• Southsea Squidface: Quick! Before I drown! Let me sharpen your sword for you.
• Play: "My mother does love this face!"
• Attack: "Showww respect!"
• Xaril, Poisoned Mind: It's basically your own fault if you go around drinking weird green potions handed out by creepy mantid dudes.
• Play: "So many wonderful poisons."
• Attack: "Need a TASTE?"
• Shadowcaster: I mean, it's not creepy if you ASK before you steal their shadow to make a small replica of them to keep on your shelf.
• Play: "The shadows beckon."
• Attack: "Darkness."
• Blade of C'Thun: C'Thun demands a sacrifice! Preferably a Deathwing.
• Journey Below: Don't stop believing there's something below.
• Shadow Strike: It's like a backstab, only from the front. And with two more stabs.
• Thistle Tea: Aren't Thistles prickly? Why would you drink them? I don't get Rogues.

Shaman Cards:

• Eternal Sentinel: Just try to avoid eye contact.
• Play: "I see what is to come."
• Attack: "You will see!"
• Flamewreathed Faceless: He's on fire! Boomshakalaka!
• Play: "Need a light?"
• Attack: "Fry, fool."
• Master of Evolution: Will be really useful in the new "Hearthémon" game.
• Hallazeal the Ascended: Hallazeals all your dallazamage.
• Play: "I am... the darkest night."
• Attack: "Twilight calls."
• Thing From Below: Just can't resist the opportunity to hang around with a bunch of totems.
• Evolve: So you say you want an evolution. Well, you know. We all want to change the board.
• Primal Fusion: Golce and Dabbana have a new line of Earth Totems available at vendors everywhere this holiday season.
• Stormcrack: WARNING: DO NOT TOUCH THE PURPLE BALL OF LIGHTNING
• Hammer of Twilight: Stop! It's Twlight Hammer time.

Warlock Cards:

• Possessed Villager: It's like a pinata! A lame disgusting horrific pinata.
• Play: "Get it out GET IT OUT!"
• Death: "Aah free..."
• Darkshire Librarian: Do NOT be late with your overdue fines.
•  Play: "The truth is in here!"
• Attack: "I'll find it!"
• Darkshire Councilman: Democracy in action!
• Usher of Souls: Nothing unburdens your soul like a good ushing!
• Play: "Get in line."
• Attack: "One by One."
• Cho'gall: Even after all this time, Gul'dan still makes Cho'gall go get donuts and coffee.
• Play: "To his will, all flesh succumbs!" "What he said!"
• Attack: "Infinite NIGHT!" "More!"
• Forbidden Ritual: Actually, C'Thun gives his full support for this ritual.
• Renounce Darkness: SEE YA DARKNESS!
• Spreading Madness: Most citizens of Darkshire wear those surgical masks to prevent spreading Madness to tourists.
• DOOM!: We ran out of space for "DOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!"

Warrior Cards:

• N'Zoth's First Mate: Hates when N'Zoth yells "Ahoy Matey!!", but there's not really much he can do about it.
• Play: Fly, polly!"
• Attack: "Avast!"
• Bloodsail Cultist: They're really just in it for the Blood Parrot.
• Play: "By claw an' cutlass!"
• Attack: "Stab an' tear!"
• Ravaging Ghoul: But goes by "Ravishing Ghoul" when he hits the club.
• Bloodhoof Brave: He thought the set was called "Flippers of the Old Cods" and hungrily volunteered to be in it. He is definitely going to get his hearing checked.
• Play: "I have an axe to grind."
• Attack: "Start running."
• Ancient Shieldbearer: Back in her day, each shield weighed two tons and she had to carry four of them on each arm!
• Play: "C'Thun shelters us!"
• Attack: "Taste mah shield!"
• Malkorok: Garrosh's best buddy. It's true. Look it up.
• Play: "The True Horde cannot be stopped!"
• Attack: "Weaklings!"
• Blood To Ichor: For his next trick, he turns the ichor back to blood and stuffs it back in you.
• Blood Warriors: They have an uneasy rivalry with the Blood Paladins.
• Tentacles For Arms: That's right. Garrosh just slapped you to death with a tentacle.

_________________________________________________________________________________

One Night in Karazhan

Neutral Cards:

• Arcane Anomaly: He used to get work as a Spacial Anomaly, but he got tired of having his polarity reversed.
• Runic Egg: Oh man! Runic omelettes are the best!
• Netherspite Historian: She can tell you all about the history of people not STANDING IN THE GREEN BEAM!
• Play: "Once upon a time..."
• Attack: "Plot twist!"
• Pompous Thespian: Alas poor Annoy-o-Tron! A fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy!
• Play: "An autograph? Eh, I suppose."
• Attack: "A critic!"
• Death: "Oooh, et tu..."
• Moroes: Moroes runs an army of stewards, but still ends up inflating the balloons himself.
• Play: "Let's show our guests a good time."
• Attack: "You rang?"
• Pantry Spider: You have to admit, they make a cute couple.
• Violet Illusionist: She’s much more cheerful after losing the ‘n’ in her name.
• Play: "This only works on the simpleminded."
• Attack: "Look behind you."
• Zoobot: The Murloc is taking the picture.
• Arcanosmith: He’s really just a Blacksmith, but he thought the fancy title would bring in more business.
• Play: "A glorious invention!"
• Attack: "Fantabulous!" 
• Death: "Uh oh!"
• Animated Shield: [Summoned by Arcanosmith]
• Play: "I am gloooorious!"
• Attack: "SHIELD SLAM!"
• Barnes: He used to play every part, until Moroes confiscated his Orb of Deception.
• Play: “Tonight! A true tale of terror!” “Tonight! A tale of terrible tragedy!” “Tonight! A tale of glorious redemption!” “Tonight! A tale of long lost words!” “Tonight! A tale of wonder and magic!”
• Attack: “On with the show!”
• Avian Watcher: He mostly watches light romantic comedies.
• Menagerie Magician: Just between us, if things get tight the Menagerie Magician position will probably be the first to go.
• Play: "And now for my next trick!"
• Attack: "Disappear!"
• Death: "D'oh!"
• Prince Malchezaar: He was super excited to acquire Gorehowl at a garage sale!  Then super disappointed to find out it was a foam reproduction.
• Trigger: "Behold the legions I command!" or "Behold. My Legions."
• Play: "All realities. All dimensions. Are open to me."
• Attack: "Simple fool."
• Death: "Noo!"
• Book Wyrm: His favorites are classic tragedies like "The Hobbit" and "Grendel".
• Play: "Let reading dragons lie."
• Attack: "Ugh. How barbaric."
• Moat Lurker: He really enjoys lurking and gets a lot of job satisfaction out of it.
• The Curator: The Curator guards Azeroth’s deadliest creatures, but it’s secretly terrified of squirrels.
• Play: "The Menagerie is for guests only."
• Attack: "Do not touch."
• Death: "Ow."
• Medivh, the Guardian: If you think the party's great now, just wait 'til he invites the orcs over!
• Play: "A game? So kind of you to join me."
• Attack: "I always win!"
• Arcane Giant: Claims to be drawn to Karazhan because of the ley lines. Actually, just loves Moroes’ cooking.

Druid Cards:

• Enchanted Raven: Once upon a midnight restive, Medivh pondered, feeling festive!
• Menagerie Warden: Please? Can I keep him? I promise to clean his cage every day.
• Play: "Join the pack."
• Attack: "Sick 
• Moonglade Portal: Ain't no party like a Moonglade party ‘cause a Moonglade party got bears.

Hunter Cards:

• Kindly Grandmother: "Goodness! What… abundant drool you have."
• Play: "Such big teeth I have."
• Attack: "Oo-oh dear."
• Death: "Oooh!"
• Big Bad Wolf: [Summoned by Kindly Grandmother]
• Play: "The better to eat you with." 
• Attack: "Run away!"
• Cloaked Huntress: She's practically GIVING your secrets away!
• Play: "Come, midnight."
• Attack: "Such easy sport."
• Cat Trick:"I know some new tricks, a lot of good tricks. I will show them to you. Medivh will not mind at all if I do."

Mage Cards:

• Babbling Book: His idol is the Green Hills of Stranglethorn, and he won't shut up about it.
• Play: "You wanna cast a spell? I wanna cast a spell!"
• Attack: "Spells are fun. SO fun!"
• Death: "The end...."
• Medivh's Valet:"Magus Medivh sir, I've brought the flaming balloons, as you requested."
• Play: "Excuse me, you are on fire."
• Attack: "Right away."
• Firelands Portal: Come to beautiful Firelands! Where it's "Way nicer than the Abyssal Maw!"

Paladin Cards:

• Nightbane Templar: Originally joined to be Arcanagos’ Templar, but has to admit that ordering pizza has become waaaay easier.
• Play: "Taste the air of magic!"
• Attack: "Protect the flight!"
• Ivory Knight: Do NOT call it a "horse".
• Silvermoon Portal: What's Millhouse Manastorm doing in Silvermoon?

Priest Cards:

• Priest of the Feast: Now that's a world champion cheesecake!
• Play: "Blessed be this funnel cake!"
• Attack: "Oy! That's my cake!"
• Death: "One... last... bite!"
• Onyx Bishop: B4 is a nice place to visit, but he wouldn't want to live there.
• Play: "The game begins."
• Attack: "Checkmate."
• Purify: Even better than a hot shower with vigorous scrubbing!

Rogue Cards:

• Swashburglar: Was almost named "Swashb-AAAARRHHH-gler"
• Play: "Hahahah! Let's dance."
• Attack: "A tango?"
• Deadly Fork: For a proper setting, place the deadly fork after the salad fork, but before the dinner fork.
• Play: "Time to die!"
• Attack: "Eat it!"
• Ethereal Peddler: Yeah, sure. That Ragnaros "fell off the back of a truck".
• Play: "Need something unusual?"
• Attack: "I'll take that."

Shaman Cards:

• Wicked Witchdoctor: You can easily defeat her by either dealing 4 damage, or dropping a house on her.
• Play: "My totems! My pretty totems!"
• Trigger: "Oooh, my pretties!"
• Maelstrom Portal:They bill this as a popular resort attraction, but they try and get your money up front.
• Spirit Claws: They'll be MUCH easier to use once they add the spiritthumb.

Warlock Cards:

• Malchezaar's Imp: Malchezaar used to have an imp named Dobby working for him, but there was a tragic accident.
• Play: "You! Are not! The boss! Of me!"
• Attack: "Aaaah don' wanna!"
• Silverware Golem: From the secret research labs of the Swiss Army.
• Play: "Set the floor!"
• Kara Kazham!: This is what happens when you tell Khadgar to set the table.
• Play: [Gul'dan's voice] "Kara Kazham!"

Warrior Cards:

• Protect the King!: Form ranks! Everyone into the King's Tuskarr Defense!
• Pawn: [Summoned by Protect the King!]
• Play: "En passant!"
• Ironforge Portal: Come to beautiful Ironforge! Where irons are forged and the forges are iron!
• Fool's Bane: A fool and his bane are soon parted.