Hearthstone Card Descriptions & Dialogue List #2: Naxxramas & Goblins vs Gnomes Sets

Curse of Naxxramas

Neutral Minions:

• Undertaker: In a world where you can run to a spirit healer and resurrect yourself, Undertakers do pretty light business.
• Play: “Bring out your dead.”
• Attack: “Oh, goody!”
• Zombie Chow: Zombie. It's what's for dinner.
• Echoing Ooze: OOZE... Ooze... Ooze... (ooze...)
• Haunted Creeper: Arachnofauxbia: Fear of fake spiders.
• Mad Scientist: His mother wanted him to be a mage or a warlock, but noooooooo, he had to go and be a scientist like his father.
• Play: “I’ll show them. I’ll show them aaaall!”
• Attack: “Fools!”
• Death: “For science!”
• Nerub'ar Weblord: Weblords spend all day making giant trampoline parks.
• Play: “For Nerub.”
• Attack: “I hunger.”
• Nerubian Egg: Eggs are a good source of protein and Nerubians.
• Nerubian: [Summoned by Nerubian Egg]
• Play: "I... live!"
• Attack: "Sustenance..."
• Unstable Ghoul: Filling your Ghouls with Rocket Fuel is all the rage at Necromancer school.
• Dancing Swords: They like to dance to reggae.
• Deathlord: "Rise from your grave!" - Kel'Thuzad
• Play: "Death does not scare me!"
• Attack: "Death!"
• Death: "No... NO!"
• Shade of Naxxramas: The Shades of Naxxramas hate the living. They even have a slur they use to refer them: Livers.
• Play: "Naxxramas... is ours..."
• Attack: "Trespasser!"
• Stoneskin Gargoyle: Stoneskin Gargoyles love freeze tag.
• Baron Rivendare: There used to be five Horsemen but one of them left because a job opened up in the deadmines and the benefits were better.
• Play: "The Scourge will consume you!"
• Attack: "Laaaaambs! To the slaughter!"
• Wailing Soul: This soul just wails on you. Dang, soul, let up already.
• Feugen: Feugen is sad because everyone likes Stalagg better.
• Play: "Feed you to master!"
• Attack: "For master!"
• Death: "No more Feugen!"
• Stalagg: Stalagg want to write own flavor text. "STALAGG AWESOME!"
• Play: "Stalagg crush you!"
• Attack: "Stalagg kill!"
• Death: "Master! Save me!"
• Thaddius: [summoned by Feugen or Stalagg]
• Play: "Now YOU feel pain."
• Attack: "You. Die. Now."
• Death: "Thank you..."
• Loatheb: Loatheb used to be a simple Bog Beast. This is why we need stricter regulations on mining and agriculture.
• Play: "I. See. You."
• Attack: "The end... is close.
• Sludge Belcher: DO NOT GIVE HIM A ROOT BEER.
• Play: "Tums... feel funny."
• Attack: "Uuuurp! Excuse me."
• Spectral Knight: What do Faerie Dragons and Spectral Knights have in common? They both love pasta!
• Play: "For the Lich King!"
• Attack: "For Kel'Thuzad!"
• Death: "I will return!"
• Maexxna: Maexxna gets super mad when people introduce her as "Maxina" or "Maxxy".
• Kel'Thuzad: Kel'Thuzad could not resist the call of the Lich King. Even when it's just a robo-call extolling the Lich King's virtues.
• Play: "Minions, servants, soldiers of the cold dark! Obey the call... of Kel'Thuzad."
• Attack: "Pray for mercy."
• Death: "I... shall... return."

Druid Cards:

• Poison Seeds: "Poisonseed Bagel" is the least popular bagel at McTiggin's Druidic Bagel Emporium.

Hunter Cards:

• Webspinner: Spider cocoons are like little piñatas!

Mage Cards:

• Duplicate: The one time when duping cards won't get your account banned!

Paladin Cards:

• Avenge: Several paladins have joined together to deliver justice under the name "Justice Force." Their lawyer talked them out of calling themselves the Justice League.

Priest Cards:

• Dark Cultist: The Cult of the Damned has found it's best not to mention their name when recruiting new cultists.
• Play: “The damned stand ready.”
• Attack: “My fate is sealed.”

Rogue Cards:

• Anub’ar Ambusher: Originally he was called "Anub'ar Guy who bounces a guy back to your hand", but it lacked a certain zing.

Shaman Cards:

• Reincarnate: It's like birth, except you're an adult and you were just dead a second ago.

Warlock Cards:

• Voidwalker: "Void! Here, void! Here, buddy!"
• Play: "From... the void... I come..."
• Attack: "To the void!"

Warrior Cards:

• Death's Bite: "Take a bite outta Death." - McScruff the Deathlord

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Goblins vs. Gnomes

Neutral Minions:

• Target Dummy: The engineering equivalent of a "Kick Me" sticker.
• Clockwork Gnome: Clockwork gnomes are always asking what time it is.
• Play: "I! Am! Ready!"
• Attack: "For Mechazod!"
• Cogmaster: After a while, you don't see the cogs and sprockets. All you see is a robot, a spider tank, a deathray...
• Play: "I can fix anything!"
• Attack: "I'll fix you!"
• Annoy-o-tron: The inventor of the Annoy-o-Tron was immediately expelled from Tinkerschool, Tinkertown, and was eventually exiled from the Eastern Kingdoms altogether.
• Play: "Hello! Hello! Hello!"
• Attack: "Heeeeelllooo!"
• Death: "Hell~o~"
• Explosive Sheep: How is this supposed to work? Your enemies think, "Hey! Cute sheep!" and run over to cuddle it?”
• Gilblin Stalker: "Shhh, I think I hear something.” "Ah, it's probably nothing." - Every Henchman
• Play: "Sssss-slippery!"
• Mechwarper: Mechs that summon mechs? What's next? Donuts that summon donuts? Mmmmm.
• Play: "Powering! Up! Portals! On-line!"
• Attack: En-gage!
• Micro Machine: This card is the real thing.
• Play: "For a little bot, I pack a big punch!"
• Attack: "Heeeere I come!"
• Puddlestomper: He pays homage to Morgl, the great murloc oracle! (Who doesn't??)
• Recombobulator: For when you didn’t combobulate quite right the first time around.
• Play: "Ya might feel a little tingle."
• Attack: "Time for a change!"
• Ship's Cannon: If you hear someone yell, "Cannonball!" you're about to get wet. Or crushed.
• Stonesplitter Trogg: The only thing worse than smelling troggs is listening to their poetry.
• Play: "Trogg no stoopid!"
• Flying Machine: To operate, this contraption needs a hula doll on the dashboard. Otherwise it's just a “falling machine.”
• Play: "What's the flight plan?"
• Attack: "Stay on target!"
• Death: "They game from - ah! - behind!"
• Gnomeregan Infantry: The gnomes are valiant and ready to return to their irradiated, poorly ventilated homeland!
• Play: "For Gnomeregan!"
• Attack: "For the gnomes!"
• Gnomish Experimenter: He's legitimately surprised every time he turns himself into a chicken.
• Play: "This is going to be amazing!"
• Attack: "Watch this."
• Goblin Sapper: He’s not such a binge exploder anymore. These days, he only explodes socially.
• Play: "What's sappenin'?"
• Attack: "Light the fuse!"
• Hobgoblin: Hobgoblins are meeting next week to discuss union benefits. First on the list: dental plan.
• Play: "Goblins and gnooomes!"
• Attack: "Goblins-and-gnomes!"
• Illuminator: "LUMOS!" is not what they yell. What do you think this is, Hogwarts?
• Play: "Embrace the light."
• Attack: "The light shines."
• Lil' Exorcist: Warlocks have the town exorcist on speed dial in case they unleash the wrong demon.
• Play: "The light compels you!"
• Attack: "Ouch."
• Ogre Brute: Ogres have really terrible short-term chocolate.
• Play: "It's clobbering time!"
• Attack: "Me smash YOU!"
• Trigger: "Wait, who?"
• Spider Tank: "What if we put guns on it?" -Fizzblitz, staring at the spider-transportation-machine
• Tinkertown Technician: Won't you take me to... Tinkertown?
• Play: “Something needs tinkering?”
• Attack: “For Tinkertown!”
• Arcane Nullifier X-21: There was some hard talk between gnome magi and engineers about inventing this mech.
• Play: "Magic: detected."
• Attack: "Locked on."
• Burly Rockjaw Torgg: He's burly because he does CrossFit.
• Play: "Troggzor, Troggzor!"
• Enhance-o-Mechano: His enhancements are gluten free!
• Play: "Enhancification commencing!"
• Attack: "Commence punchification!"
• Death: "No..."
• Jeeves: This robot is a lean, mean, butlerin' machine.
• Play: "Can I help you, sir?"
• Attack: "Oh. Yes sir."
• Trigger: "Let me get that."
• Kezan Mystic: They pretend to be wise and enlightened, but they mostly just hate to be left out of a secret.
• Play: "The light does not discriminate."
• Attack: "Light it up."
• Lost Tallstrider: The message, "If found, please return to Mulgore," is tattooed on his rear.
• Mechanical Yeti: The yetis of Chillwind Point are a source of both inspiration and savage beatings.
• Mini-Mage: He is sometimes found hiding in the treasure chest in the Gurubashi Arena.
• Play: "Death from the shadows!"
• Attack: "Presto-blasto!"
• Piloted Shredder: Once upon a time, only goblins piloted shredders. These days, everyone from Doomsayer to Lorewalker Cho seems to ride one.
• Antique Healbot: They don't make 'em like they used to! (Because of explosions, mostly.)
• Play: "Back from the junkheap!"
• Attack: "Running Program: Hug!"
• Death: "Shut-ting dooown...."
• Blingtron 3000: PREPARE PARTY SERVOS FOR IMMEDIATE DEPLOYMENT.
• Play: “Who wants presents?”
• Attack: "Oh, enjoy!"
• Bomb Lobber: He lobbies Orgrimmar daily on behalf of bombs.
• Play: "Special delivery! Heh heheheheheh!"
• Attack: "Bombs away!"
• Fel Reaver: So reaver. Much fel. Wow.
• Hemet Nesingwary: It's hard to make a living as a hunter in a world where beasts instantly reappear minutes after you kill them.
• Play: “Ah, the thrill of the hunt!”
• Attack: “Take that, beastie!”
• Junkbot: One bot's junk is another bot's AWESOME UPGRADE!
• Play: "I have junk!"
• Attack: "It's junk bunk."
• Death: "Juunk..."
• Madder Bomber: Dang, Bomber, calm down.
• Play: "Did someone say bomb?'
• Attack: "Ka-boom!"
• Mimiron's Head: Do not push the big red button!
• Play: “Behold! The magnificent aerial command unit!”
• Attack: “Take cover!”
• Death: “Awwwh, test failed!”
• V-07-TR-0N: [summoned by Mimiron's Head]
• Play: “Bask in the glory of the vee-oh-seven-tee-ar-oh-en!”
• Attack: “Mega thrusters are go!”
• Death: "My invention!"
• Salty Dog: He's recently recovered from being a "scurvy dog."
• Play: "Get back ya scurvy dogs!"
• Attack: "Let's get salty!"
• Gazlowe: Gazlowe was voted "Most Likely to Explode" in high school.
• Play: "Keep it quick, kid. I ain't got all day!"
• Attack: "Oh no you di'nt!"
• Mogor the Ogre: Mogor helped reopen the Dark Portal once. You know you're in trouble when you have to rely on an ogre.
• Play: “Mogor deso- no, Mogor destro- uh, wait. Mogor KILL!”
• Attack: "Mogor charge!"
• Trigger: "Sorry..."
• Death: "Uh-oh."
• Toshley: Something about power converters.
• Play: "Show them no mercy!"
• Attack: "Open! Fire!"
• Dr. Boom: MARVEL AT HIS MIGHT!
• Troggzor the Earthinator: He keeps earthinating the countryside despite attempts to stop him.
• Play: "Troggzor!"
• Attack: "Earthinating time! Hahaha!"
• Piloted Sky Golem: The pinnacle of goblin engineering. Includes an espresso machine and foot massager.
• Foe Reaper 4000: Foe reaping is really not so different from harvest reaping, at the end of the day.
• Play: “Safety restrictions: offline. Harvesting servos: engaged.”
• Attack: "Overdrive: engaged."
• Force-Tank MAX: There is a factory in Tanaris for crafting force-tanks, but it only ever made two, because of cost overruns.
• Sneed's Old Shredder: When Sneed was defeated in the Deadmines, his shredder was sold at auction to an anonymous buyer. (Probably Hogger.)
• Mekgineer Thermaplugg: He was obsessed with explosives until he discovered knitting. Now he yells, “SWEATERS! MORE SWEATERS!”
• Play: “Usurpers! Gnomeregan is mine!”
• Attack: “Explosions! More explosions!”
• Clockwork Giant: He and Mountain Giant don't get along.

Druid Cards:

• Anodized Robo Cub: It's adorable! AND OH MY GOODNESS WHY IS IT EATING MY FACE
• Grove Tender: Likes: Hiking and the great outdoors. Dislikes: Goblin shredders and sandals. (Can’t find any that fit!).
• Play: “Ah… the great outdoors!”
• Attack: "Trouble?"
• Druid of the Fang: The Druids of the Fang live in the Wailing Caverns. They wear cool snake shirts and tell snake jokes and say "bro" a lot.
• Play: “Snakes. It has to be snakes-ssss.”
• Attack: “Sssss-strike!”
• Mech-Bear-Cat: Crushes buildings with his BEAR hands.
• Malorne: When Malorne isn't mauling hordes of demons, he enjoys attending parties, though he prefers to go stag.
• Play: "I have returned."
• Attack: "For the Ancients!"
• Trigger/Death: "I will return."
• Dark Wispers: Don't worry; we fired the person who named this card.
• Recycle: Druidic recycling involves putting plastics in one bin and enemy minions in another bin.
• Tree of Life: Healing: It grows on trees!

Hunter Cards:

• Steamwheedle Sniper: Goblins seldom have the patience for sniping. Most prefer lobbing explosives.
• Play: "Target acquired."
• Attack: "In my sights."
• Metaltooth Leaper: Don't leave them out in the rain. In Un'Goro Crater there is a whole colony of rust-tooth leapers.
• King of Beasts: He never sleeps. Not even in the mighty jungle.
• Gahz'rilla: The Sen'jin High football team is The Gahz'rillas.
• Call Pet: Real hunters tame hungry crabs.
• Feign Death: The hardest part about doing a "Feign Death" convincingly is learning how to make the right smell. It takes a lot of commitment.
• Cobra Shot: "Cobra Shot" hurts way, way, way more than "Cobra Cuddle."
• Glaivezooka: For the times when a regular bazooka just isn't enough.

Mage Cards:

• Snowchugger: Do the slow chant when he waddles by: "Chug! Chug! Chug!"
• Play: "Chugga chugga chugga chugga."
• Attack: "Chuggachugga!"
• Death: "Chugga-choo..."
• Soot Spewer: The inventor of the goblin shredder is involved in several patent disputes with the inventor of the soot spewer.
• Goblin Blastmage: If you can't find a bomb to throw, just pick up any goblin invention and throw that.
• Play: "Ooo, fire!"
• Attack: "Hot hot hot!"
• Wee Spellstopper: Bane of spellcasters and spelling bees everywhere.
• Play: “I’ll put a stop to that!”
• Attack: “Here goes!”
• Flame Leviathan: Mimiron likes to take the Flame Leviathan out on some sweet joyrides.
• Trigger: "Countermeasures enabled."
• Play: "Hostile entities: detected."
• Attack: "Acquiring target."
• Death: "Powering down."
• Flamecannon: Calling something a flamecannon really doesn't do much to distinguish it from other goblin devices.
• Unstable Portal: The denizens of Azeroth have no idea how much work goes into stabilizing portals. We spend like 30% of GDP on portal upkeep.
• Echo of Medivh: Medivh's echo haunts Karazhan, eternally cheating at chess and Hearthstone.

Paladin Cards:

• Shielded Minibot: He chooses to believe what he is programmed to believe!
• Play: "Shields up! Red alert!"
• Attack: "Weapons ready!"
• Death: "Shields... fail...ing..."
• Scarlet Purifier: The Scarlet Crusade is doing market research to find out if the "Mauve Crusade" would be better received.
• Play: “Stratholme will be purged!”
• Attack: “Burn!”
• Cobalt Guardian: Guardians used to be built out of Adamantium, but production got moved to Gadgetzan and Cobalt was cheap.
• Play: “Reinforcements requested.”
• Attack: “Order received.”
• Death: “Error. Thirty-seven.”
• Quartermaster: His specialty? Dividing things into four pieces
• Play: “To arms, men!”
• Attack: “Duty calls!”
• Bolvar Fordragon: Spoiler alert: Bolvar gets melted and then sits on an ice throne and everyone forgets about him.
• Play: "Come forth, coward!"
• Attack: "You will pay!"
• Seal of Light: The walrus of Light restores EIGHT Health.
• Muster for Battle: "I'm bringing the guacamole!" – One of the most successful (yet rare) Silver Hand rallying cries
• Coghammer: So you ripped this out of a machine, carved some runes on it, stuck it on a handle, and now it's a weapon of great divine power? Seems legit.

Priest Cards:

• Shadowbomber: Shadowbomber does her job, but she's kind of phoning it in at this point.
• Play: “The shadow engulfs us!”
• Attack: "Some for you!"
• Shadowboxer: Punching is its primary function. Also, its secondary function.
• Shrinkmeister: After the debacle of the Gnomish World Enlarger, gnomes are wary of size-changing inventions.
• Play: “Let us see if dis works.”
• Attack: "Let's. Get. Physical!"
• Upgraded Repair Bot: It's the same as the previous generation but they slapped the word "upgraded" on it to sell it for double.
• Play: “Repairs: available.”
• Attack: “Beatings: available.”
• Death: "Oh no..."
• Vol'jin: Vol'jin is a shadow hunter, which is like a shadow priest except more voodoo.
• Play: “Da spirits be restless.”
• Play [Against Garrosh]: “Who be de Warchief now? Meh heh heh heh heh heh.”
• Attack: “Here come da voodoo.”
• Light of the Naaru: "Light it up!" - Command given to both Lightwardens and Goblins holding Flamecannons.
• Velen’s Chosen: Velen wrote a "Lovely Card" for Tyrande with a picture of the Deeprun Tram that said "I Choo-Choo-Choose you!"
• Lightbomb: This is what happens when you allow goblins to be priests.

Rogue Cards:

• Goblin Auto-Barber: This guy is excellent at adjusting your haircut and/or height.
• One-Eyed Cheat: When pirates say there is no "Eye" in "team," they are very literal about it.
• Play: "Yah-hah! I'll hide in the back."
• Iron Sensei: Mechs like learning from him because he really speaks their language. 0110100001101001
• Play: “Come close, and listen.”
• Attack: “Silent. But deadly.”
• Ogre Ninja:  He didn't have the grades to get into ninja school, but his dad pulled some strings.
• Play: “Sneaky!" "Shuuuuush, quiet!”
• Attack: “This one.”
• Trigger: “No, that one!”
• Trade Prince Gallywix: Gallywix believes in supply and demand. He supplies the beatings and demands you pay up!
• Play: “Hey pal, Trade Prince Gallywix ‘ere.”
• Attack: “I’m gonna downsize you.”
• Trigger: “Where’s my cut?”
• Sabotage: Rogues can't stand it. They know you planned it! They are going to set you straight!
• Tinker's Sharpsword Oil: "Get ready to strike oil!" - Super-cheesy battle cry
• Cogmaster's Wrench: For tightening cogs and smashin' troggs!

Shaman Cards:

• Vitality Totem: You can usually find these at the totemist's market on Saturdays.
• Whirling Zap-o-matic: If you pay a little extra, you can get it in "candy-apple red."
• Play: “Spinnin’ up!”
• Attack: “Wheeeeeeee!”
• Death: “Get- ting- diz- zyyyyy…”
• Dunemaul Shaman: He just closes his eyes and goes for it. Raarararrrarar!
• Play: “Ogre time!”
• Attack: “Get ‘em!”
• Trigger: “Oops.”
• Slitfin Spiritwalker: The elements respond to anyone who calls them for a worthy cause, even if you call them by yelling, "MRGHRGLGLGL!"
• Neptulon: Neptulon is "The Tidehunter". He’s one of the four elemental lords. And he and Ragnaros get together and make really amazing saunas.
• Play: “Witness the power of pure water.”
• Attack: “Have a drink!”
• Crackle: Snap! This card! Pop!
• Ancestor's Call: “Hey! Ancestors!" - Ancestor's call
• Powermace: People assume that shamans control the elements, but really, they have to ask them stuff and the elements are like, "Yeah ok, sure."

Warlock Cards:

• Mistress of Pain: Her sister is the Mistress of Pane who sells windows and shower doors.
• Play: “I can ease your pain.”
• Fel Cannon: The box says, "New and improved, with 200% more fel!"
• Floating Watcher: "Evil Eye Watcher of Doom" was the original name, but marketing felt it was a bit too aggressive.
• Play: “I see everything!”
• Trigger: “YES!”
• Anima Golem: The Dark Animus is evil and mysterious and huge and unable to write sentences that utilize proper grammar.
• Mal'Ganis: Mal'Ganis doesn't like being betrayed, so if you discard him, watch out.
• Play: “I am Mal’Ganis! I! Am! ETERNAL!”
• Attack: “Tiny mortal.”
• Darkbomb: If you're looking to make an "Emo" deck, this card is perfect!
• Imp-losion: The shrapnel is waaaaay worse than the explosion.
• Demonheart: Virtually every member of the pro demon lobby is a warlock. Weird.

Warrior Cards:

• Warbot: Mass production of warbots was halted when it was discovered that they were accidentally being produced at "sample size."
• Play: “Battle: detected.”
• Attack: “Battle: commencing.”
• Death: “Ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba baaa!”
• Screwjank Clunker: If it breaks, just kick it a couple of times while yelling "Durn thing!"
• Play: “Defensive systems: online.”
• Attack: “Ramming speed!”
• Death: “O-ver-hea-teeeee…”
• Siege Engine: Wintergrasp Keep's only weakness!
• Iron Juggernaut: The Iron Juggernaut guards Orgrimmar and has just earned the "Employee of the Month" award!
• Shieldmaiden: She has three shieldbearers in her party to supply her with back ups when she gets low on durability.
• Play: “I can take the hit.”
• Attack: “Brace for impact.”
• Bouncing Blade: Only goblins would think this was a good idea. Even they are starting to have their doubts.
• Crush: Using this card on your enemies is one of the best things in life, according to some barbarians.
• Ogre Warmaul: Simple, misguided, and incredibly dangerous. You know, like most things ogre.