Hearthstone Card Descriptions & Dialogue List #1: Base & Classic Sets

Okay, so this is a bit of a list I made a while back of all the descriptions of the cards found in the game, as well as the dialogue said when you summon or attack with said minions. I’ve tidied it up a bit, and now here it is in all its long glory.

Neutral cards are listed first, then all class cards. A bunch of the cards, like murlocs, dragons and beasts, just make random grunts and mrglrglrlgl sounds, which I won't include here. Unless they make recognizable words, death screams or generic "heh heh heh" attack sounds won't be transcribed either. Token minions summoned by a parent minion will be listed under the minion it summoned. 

[EDIT 08/2017 Tidied up all the way to Un'Goro, with the cards properly sorted based on their classes instead of the card types]

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Basic Set

Neutral:

• Elven Archer: Don't bother asking her out on a date. She'll shoot you down.
• Play: “One shot. One kill.”
• Attack: “I’ll give it a shot.”
• Goldshire Footman: If 1/2 minions are all that is defending Goldshire, you would think it would have been overrun years ago.
• Play: “Ready for action!”
• Attack: “To arms!”
• Grimscale Oracle: These are the brainy murlocs. It turns out that doesn’t mean much.
• Murloc Raider: Mrrraggglhlhghghlgh, mrgaaag blarrghlgaahahl mrgggg glhalhah a bghhll graggmgmg Garrosh mglhlhlh mrghlhlhl!!
• Stonetusk Boar: This card is boaring.
• Voodoo Doctor: Voodoo is an oft-misunderstood art. But it is art.
• Play: “Someone call for da doctor?”
• Acidic Swamp Ooze: Oozes love Flamenco. Don't ask.
• Bloodfen Raptor: "Kill 30 raptors." - Hemet Nesingwary
• Bluegill Warrior: He just wants a hug. A sloppy... slimy... hug.
• Frostwolf Grunt: Grunting is what his father did and his father before that. It's more than just a job.
• Play: “What you want?”
• Attack: “Time for killing!”
• Kobold Geomancer: In the old days, Kobolds were the finest candle merchants in the land. Then they got pushed too far...
• Play: “You nooo take candle!”
• Attack: “Mine!”
• Murloc Tiderunner: "Death will rise, from the tides!"
• Novice Engineer: "Half of this class will not graduate… since they'll have been turned to chickens." - Tinkmaster Overspark, teaching Gizmos 101.
• Play: “I hope you like my invention.”
• Attack: “Ohhh, if you’re sure…”
• River Crocolisk: Edward "Lefty" Smith tried to make luggage out of a river crocolisk once.
• Dalaran mage: You don't see a lot of Dalaran warriors.
• Play: “I am master of magics!”
• Attack: “Vaporization commencing!”
• Ironforge Rifleman: "Ready! Aim! Drink!"
• Play: “Locked an’ loaded!”
• Attack: “Fire!”
• Ironfur Grizzly: "Bear Carcass 1/10"
• Magma Rager: He likes to think he is powerful, but pretty much anyone can solo Molten Core now.
• Raid Leader: "That's a 50 DKP minus!"
• Play: “Handle it!”
• Attack: “Hit it very hard.”
• Razorfen Hunter: Someone did mess with Tuskerr once. ONCE.
• Play: “Don’t mess with Tuskerr!”
• Attack: “Suck steel, swine!”
• Shattered Sun Cleric: They always have a spare flask of Sunwell Energy Drink™!
• Play: “We must cleanse the Sunwell.”
• Attack: “Push forward.”
• Silverback Patriarch: He likes to act like he's in charge, but the silverback matriarch actually runs things.
• Wolfrider: Orcish raiders ride wolves because they are well adapted to harsh environments, and because they are soft and cuddly.
• Play: “Ready to ride.”
• Attack: “Taste! My steel!”
• Chillwind Yeti: He always dreamed of coming down from the mountains and opening a noodle shop, but he never got the nerve.
• Dragonling Mechanic: She is still working on installing the rocket launcher add-on for Mr. Bitey.
• Play: "Just me and Mister Bitey!"
• Gnomish Inventor: She's never quite sure what she's making, she just knows it's AWESOME!
• Play: “Pass me that arclight spanner!”
• Attack: “Hey! Gimme a minute!”
• Oasis Snapjaw: His dreams of flying and breathing fire like his idol will never be realized.
• Ogre Magi: Training Ogres in the art of spellcasting is a questionable decision.
• Play: “I’m ready!" "I’m not ready!”
• Attack: “Crush-" "No, smash!”
• Sen’jin Shieldmasta: Sen'jin Villiage is nice, if you like trolls and dust.
• Play: “Taz’dingo! Hyeheh yes.”
• Attack: “Ja-ha-ha-ha, mon!”
• Stormwind Knight: They're still embarassed about "The Deathwing Incident".
• Play: “For the king!”
• Attack: “For honor.”
• Death: “Ooooh dear.”
• Booty Bay Bodyguard: You can hire him... until someone offers him enough gold to turn on you.
• Play: “Eeeh. Get behind me.”
• Attack: “Heh. I’ll take him out.”
• Darkscale Healer: Healing is just something she does in her free time. It's more of a hobby really.
• Play: “For Nazjatar.”
• Attack: “Whereee shall I strike?”
• Frostwolf Warlord: The Frostwolves are locked in combat with the Stormpike Expedition over control of Alterac Valley. Every attempt at peace-talks has ended with Captain Galvangar killing the mediator.
• Play: “The Frostwolves stand ready!”
• Attack: “For the Hooorde!”
• Gurubashi Berseker: No Pain, No Gain.
• Nightblade: Your face is the place you'd probably least like a dagger, and where rogues are most likely to deliver them.
• Play: “They’ll never know what hit them.”
• Attack: “This one’s mine.”
• Stormpike Commando: The Stormpike Commandos are demolition experts. They also bake a mean cupcake.
• Play: “I’ve got a huge gun!”
• Attack: “I’m ready!”
• Archmage: You earn the title of Archmage when you can destroy anyone who calls you on it.
• Play: “Are you ready for this?”
• Attack: “Don’t blink.”
• Boulderfist Ogre: "ME HAVE GOOD STATS FOR THE COST"
• Play: “What you lookin’ at?”
• Attack: “Me smash.”
• Lord of the Arena: He used to be a 2100+ rated arena player, but that was years ago and nobody can get him to shut up about it.
• Play: “The gates are open.”
• Attack: “Farewell.”
• Reckless Rocketeer: One Insane Rocketeer. One Rocket full of Explosives. Infinite Fun.
• Play: “I’m flyinggg! Hah ha!”
• Core Hound: You don’t tame a Core Hound. You just train it to eat someone else before it eats you.
• Stormwind Champion: When Deathwing assaulted the capital, this soldier was the only member of his squad to survive. Now he's all bitter and stuff.
• Play: “Behold! The might of Stoooormwind!”
• Attack: “For the Alliance!”
• War Golem: Golems are not afraid, but for some reason they still run when you cast Fear on them. Instinct, maybe? A desire to blend in?

Druid Cards:

• Ironbark Protector: I dare you to attack Darnassus.
• Innervate: Some druids still have flashbacks from strangers yelling "Innervate me!!" at them.
• Moonfire: "Cast Moonfire, and never stop." - How to Be a Druid, Chapter 5, Section 3
• Claw: The claw decides who will stay and who will go.
• Mark of the Wild: Not to be confused with Jim of the Wild.
• Wild Growth: Grow your own mana crystals with this Mana Crystal Growth Kit, only 39.99!
• Healing Touch: 8 Health, no waiting.
• Savage Roar: What do they roar? Nobody can quite tell, but it sounds like "Elephant Macho Breeze". It's probably not that, though.
• Swipe: When a bear rears back and extends his arms, he's about to Swipe! ... or hug.
• Starfire: Balance is important to druids. This card is perfectly balanced.

Hunter Cards:

• Timber Wolf: Other beasts totally dig hanging out with timber wolves.
• Houndmaster: "Who let the dogs out?" he asks. It's rhetorical.
• Play: “I let the dogs out.”
• Starving Buzzard: If you feed him, he loses his whole identity.
• Tundra Rhino: Tundra rhinos are often mistaken for kodos. Or am I mistaken?
• Hunter's Mark: Never play 'Hide and Go Seek' with a Hunter.
• Arcane Shot: Magi conjured arcane arrows to sell to hunters, until hunters learned just enough magic to do it themselves. The resulting loss of jobs sent Stormwind into a minor recession.
• Tracking: For the person who just cannot decide what card to put in their deck!
• Animal Companion: You could summon Misha, Leokk, or Huffer! Huffer is more trouble than he's worth.
• Kill Command: "Kill!", he commanded.
• Multi-Shot: You see, it's all about throughput.

Mage Cards:

• Water Elemental: Don't summon a water elemental at a party. It'll dampen the mood.
• Arcane Missiles: You'd think you'd be able to control your missiles a little better since you're a powerful mage and all.
• Mirror Image: Oh hey it's Mirror Image! !egamI rorriM s'ti yeh hO
• Arcane Explosion: This spell is much better than Arcane Implosion.
• Frostbolt: It is customary to yell "Chill out!" or "Freeze!" or "Ice ice, baby!" when you play this card.
• Arcane Intellect: Playing this card makes you SMARTER. And let's face it: we could all stand to be a little smarter.
• Frost Nova: Hey man, that's cold. Literally and metaphorically.
• Fireball: This spell is useful for burning things. If you're looking for spells that toast things, or just warm them a little, you're in the wrong place.
• Polymorph: There was going to be a pun in this flavor text, but it just came out baa-d.
• Flamestrike: When the ground is on fire, you should not stop, drop, and roll.

Paladin Cards:

• Guardian of Kings: Holy beings from the beyond are so cliché!
• Play: “Justice.”
• Attack: “Vengeance.”
• Blessing of Might: "As in, you MIGHT want to get out of my way." - Toad Mackle, recently buffed.
• Hand of Protection: This spell has been renamed so many times, even paladins don’t know what it should be called anymore.
• Humility: This card makes something really damp. Oh wait. That's "Humidity."
• Holy Light: If you are often bathed in Holy Light, you should consider wearing sunscreen.
• Blessing of Kings: Given the number of kings who have been assassinated, are you sure you want their blessing?
• Consecration: Consecrated ground glows with Holy energy. But it smells a little, too.
• Hammer of Wrath: A good paladin has many tools. Hammer of Wrath, Pliers of Vengeance, Hacksaw of Justice, etc.
• Light's Justice: Prince Malchezaar was a collector of rare weapons. He'd animate them and have them dance for him.
• Truesilver Champion: It Slices, it Dices. You can cut a tin can with it. (But you wouldn't want to.)

Priest Cards:

• Northshire Cleric: They help the downtrodden and distressed. Also they sell cookies.
• Play: “Is someone injured?”
• Attack: “Right away!”
• Holy Smite: It doesn't matter how pious you are. Everyone needs a good smiting now and again.
• Mind Vision: I see what you did there.
• Power Word: Shield: Sure the extra protection is nice, but the shield really reduces visibility.
• Divine Spirit: Double the trouble. Double the fun!
• Mind Blast: This spell blasts you directly in the MIND.
• Shadow Word: Pain: A step up from a spell cast by many beginning acolytes: "Shadow Word: Annoy".
• Shadow Word: Death: If you miss, it leaves a lightning-bolt-shaped scar on your target.
• Holy Nova: If the Holy Light forsakes you, good luck casting this spell. Also, you're probably a jerk.
• Mind Control: Nominated as "Spell Most Likely to Make Your Opponent Punch the Wall."

Rogue Cards:

• Backstab: It's funny how often yelling "Look over there!" gets your opponent to turn around.
• Deadly Poison: Rogues guard the secrets to poison-making carefully, lest magi start incorporating poison into their spells. Poisonbolt? Rain of Poison? Poison Elemental? Nobody wants that.
• Sinister Strike: There's something about this strike that just feels off. Sinister, even.
• Sap: Rogues love sappy movies.
• Shiv: Rogues are experts at SHIV-al-ry.
• Fan of Knives: I wouldn't say I LOVE knives, but I'm definitely a fan.
• Assassinate: If you don't want to be assassinated, move to the Barrens and change your name. Good luck!
• Vanish:
• Sprint: Rogues are not good joggers.
• Assassin's Blade: Guaranteed to have been owned by a real assassin. Certificate of authenticity included.

Shaman Cards:

• Flametongue Totem: Totemsmiths like to use the rarest woods for their totems. There are even rumors of totems made of Ironbark Protectors.
• Windspeaker: Is there anything worse than a Windspeaker with halitosis?
• Play: “Feel the power of the winds.”
• Attack: “To war!”
• Fire Elemental: He can never take a bath. Ewww.
• Ancestral Healing: I personally prefer some non-ancestral right-the-heck-now healing, but maybe that is just me.
• Totemic Might: Totem-stomping is no longer recommended.
• Frost Shock: FROST SHOCK!
• Rockbiter Weapon: This would be real handy if your enemy is made of rock.
• Windfury: Windfury is like Earthfury and Firefury, but more light and airy.
• Hex: If you Hex a Murloc... it really isn't much of a change, is it?
• Bloodlust: blaarghghLLGHRHARAAHAHHH!!

Warlock Cards:

• Voidwalker: No relation to "The Voidsteppers", the popular Void-based dance troupe.
• Play: “Why... do you call?”
• Attack: "As... you... command."
• Succubus: Warlocks have it pretty good.
• Play: “Ooooh, you’re in trouble now.”
• Attack: “As the master wishes.”
• Dread Infernal: "INFERNOOOOOOOOOO!" - Jaraxxus, Eredar Lord of the Burning Legion
• Sacrificial Pact: This is the reason that Demons never really become friends with Warlocks.
• Corruption: It starts with stealing a pen from work, and before you know it, BOOM! Corrupted!
• Mortal Coil: If your spells look like horrifying skulls, let's be honest, you should get to draw some cards.
• Soulfire: Are you lighting a soul on fire? Or burning someone with your OWN soul? This seems like an important distinction.
• Drain Life: "I've just sucked one year of your life away."
• Shadow Bolt: It’s a Bolt. Its made out of Shadow. What more do you need to know!

Warrior Cards:

• Warsong Commander: The Warsong clan is such drama. It's really not worth it to become a commander.
• Play: “Chaaarge forward!”
• Attack: “For the Warsong!”
• Kor'kron Elite: The Kor'kron are the elite forces of Garrosh Hellscream. Let's just say you don't want to run into these guys while wearing a blue tabard.
• Play: “For the Warchief!”
• Attack: “For Hellscream!”
• Execute: It's okay, he deserved it.
• Whirlwind: The way to tell seasoned warriors from novice ones: the novices yell "wheeeee" while whirlwinding.
• Cleave: Hey you two…could you stand next to each other for a second…
• Heroic Strike: Really, if you're a hero, this is every strike.
• Charge: "Guys! Guys! Slow down!" - some kind of non-warrior minion.
• Shield Block: Shields were invented because Face Block is USELESS.
• Fiery War Axe: During times of tranquility and harmony, this weapon was called by its less popular name, Chilly Peace Axe.
• Arcanite Reaper: No… actually you should fear the Reaper.

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Classic Set

Neutral Cards:

• Wisp: If you hit an Eredar Lord with enough Wisps, it will explode. But why?
• Abusive Sergeant: ADD ME TO YOUR DECK, MAGGOT!
• Play: “Get in there and fight, maggot!”
• Attack: “Suffer my wrath!”
• Angry Chicken: There is no beast more frightening (or ridiculous) than a fully enraged chicken.
• Argent Squire: "I solemnly swear to uphold the Light, purge the world of darkness, and to eat only burritos." - The Argent Dawn Oath.
• Play: “The light protects me.”
• Attack: “I fight!”
• Bloodsail Corsair: Every pirate uses the same four digits to access Automated Gold Dispensers. It's called the "Pirate's Code".
• Play: “Avast, matey!”
• Hungry Crab: Murloc. It's what's for dinner.
• Leper Gnome: He really just wants to be your friend, but the constant rejection is starting to really get to him.
• Play: “Oh, I feel icky!”
• Attack: “Gimme a big hug!”
• Lightwarden: She’s smaller than her sisters Mediumwarden and Heavywarden.
• Play: “In the light’s name!”
• Attack: “Face the light!”
• Murloc Tidecaller: This guy gets crazy strong at family reunions.
• Secretkeeper: She promises not to tell anyone about that thing you did last night with that one person.
• Play: “I’ll never tell."
• Shieldbearer: Have you seen the size of the shields in this game?? This is no easy job.
• Play: “You shall not pass.”
• Attack: “Payback time!”
• Southsea Deckhand: Pirates are into this new fad called "Planking".
• Worgen Infiltrator: If you want to stop a worgen from infiltrating, just yell, "No! Bad boy!"
• Play: “I smell blood.”
• Attack: “First kill.”
• Young Dragonhawk: They were the inspiration for the championship Taurenball team: The Dragonhawks.
• Young Priestess: She can't wait to learn Power Word: Fortitude Rank 2.
• Play: “Do you need a blessing?”
• Attack: “More training?”
• Amani Berserker: If an Amani berserker asks "Joo lookin' at me?!", the correct response is "Nah, mon".
• Play: “Heh heh heh. Is time for a little blood.”
• Attack: “Who ya wan’ me kill?”
• Ancient Watcher: Why do its eyes seem to follow you as you walk by?
• Bloodmage Thalnos: He's in charge of the Annual Scarlet Monastery Blood Drive!
• Play: “We hunger for vengeance!”
• Attack: "More! More souls!"
• Bloodsail Raider: "I only plunder on days that end in 'y'."
• Play: “X marks th’ spot!”
• Attack: “Die, landlubber!”
• Crazed Alchemist: "You'll love my new recipe!" he says... especially if you're not happy with your current number of limbs.
• Play: “You’ll love my new recipe!”
• Attack: “Don’t rush me.”
• Dire Wolf Alpha: We are pretty excited about the upcoming release of Dire Wolf Beta, just repost this sign for a chance at a key.
• Doomsayer: He's almost been right so many times. He was sure it was coming during the Cataclysm.
• Play: “The end is coming!”
• Attack: “Did I miss it?”
• Death: “I knew it!”
• Faerie Dragon: Adorable. Immune to Magic. Doesn't pee on the rug. The perfect pet!
• Knife Juggler: Ambitious Knife Jugglers sometimes graduate to Bomb Jugglers. They never last long enough to make it onto a card though.
• Play: “Put this apple on your head!”
• Attack: “Hey! Catch!”
• Death: "Ah... oh no."
• Loot Hoarder: Always roll need.
• Play: “Mind if I roll neeeeed?”
• Attack: “Hey, gimme that!”
• Lorewalker Cho: Lorewalker Cho archives and shares tales from the land of Pandaria, but his favorite story is the one where Joey and Phoebe go on a road trip.
• Play: "Jade Serpent guide you."
• Mad Bomber: He's not really all that crazy, he is just not as careful with explosives as he should be.
• Play: “Wanna blow something up? Hah hah!”
• Attack: “Hoo hoo yeah, you got it!”
• Mana Addict: She’s trying to kick the habit, but still takes some mana whenever she has a stressful day.
• Play: “I can taste the mana!”
• Attack: “Ah! What a rush!”
• Mana Wraith: They come out at night to eat leftover mana crystals. "Mmmmmm," they say.
• Master Swordsmith: He's currently trying to craft a "flail-axe", but all the other swordsmiths say it can't be done.
• Play: “Bring me steel.”
• Attack: “It’s time.”
• Millhouse Manastorm: "I'm gonna light you up, sweetcheeks!"
• Play:“Prepare to face the mighty Millhouse Maaanastorm!”
• Attack: “Here it co-ooomes!”
• Nat Pagle: Nat Pagle, Azeroth's premier fisherman! He invented the Auto-Angler 3000, the Extendo-Pole 3000, and the Lure-o-matic 2099 (still in testing).
• Play: “I can wait and fish all day.”
• Attack: “Howdy!”
• Trigger: “Ha! Caught one!”
• Pint-Sized Summoner: She's quite jealous of the Gallon-Sized Summoner.
• Play: “Summoning portal open!”
• Attack: “Coming through!”
• Sunfury Protector: She carries a shield, but only so she can give it to someone she can stand behind.
• Play: “Shields! Up!”
• Attack: “I got this.”
• Wild Pyromancer: BOOM BABY BOOM! BAD IS GOOD! DOWN WITH GOVERNMENT!
• Play: “Do you like to play with fire?”
• Attack: “Paaain!”
• Youthful Brewmaster: His youthful enthusiasm doesn’t always equal excellence in his brews. Don’t drink the Mogu Stout!
• Play: “Drink with me, friend!”
• Attack: “Challenge accepted!”
• Acolyte of Pain: He trained when he was younger to be an acolyte of joy, but things didn’t work out like he thought they would.
• Play: “Let the pain speak to me!”
• Attack: “Bring… the pain…”
• Death: “Yeeeees!”
• Alarm-o-Bot: WARNING. WARNING. WARNING.
• Arcane Golem: Having Arcane golems at home really classes up the place, and as a bonus they are great conversation pieces.
• Blood Knight:The Blood Knights get their holy powers from the Sunwell, which you should NOT bathe in.
• Play: “Glory to the Sin’dorei!”
• Attack: “For Lor’themar!”
• Coldlight Oracle: They can see the future. In that future both players draw more cards. Spoooky.
• Coldlight Seer: The Coldlight murlocs reside in the darkest pits of the Abyssal Depths. So no, there's no getting away from murlocs.
• Demolisher: Laying siege isn't fun for anyone. It's not even all that effective, now that everyone has a flying mount.
• Earthen Ring Farseer: He can see really far, and he doesn't use a telescope like those filthy pirates.
• Play: “My eyes are open.”
• Attack: “Of course.”
• Emperor Cobra: The Sholazar Basin is home to a lot of really horrible things. If you're going to visit, wear bug spray. And plate armor.
• Flesheating Ghoul: 'Flesheating' is an unfair name. It's just that there's not really much else for him to eat.
• Harvest Golem: "Overheat threshold exceeded. System failure. Wheat clog in port two. Shutting down."
• Imp Master: She would enjoy the job a lot more if she just could get the imps to QUIT BITING HER.
• Play: “Oaaah. I am not a morning person.”
• Attack: “Who let the dark in?”
• Injured Blademaster: He claims it is an old war wound, but we think he just cut himself shaving.
• Play: “Grrh. Medic!”
• Attack: “Your turn to bleed!”
• Ironbeak Owl: Their wings are silent but their screech is... whatever the opposite of silent is.
• Jungle Panther: Stranglethorn is a beautiful place to visit, but you wouldn't want to live there.
• King Mukla: King Mukla wanders Jaguero Isle, searching for love.
• Mind Control Tech: Mind Control technology is getting better, but that's not saying much.
• Play: “Engaging TC 130 Mental Dislocator!”
• Attack: “Whooo are you?”
• Murloc Warleader: Do Murlocs ever get tired of making the same old sound? Nope! Mrglglrglglglglglglgl!
• Questing Adventurer: "Does anyone have some extra Boar Pelts?"
• Play: “Give me a quest!
• Attack: “Quest accepted!”
• Death: “Ah… quest failed…”
• Raging Worgen: If he's raging now, just wait until he gets nerfed.
• Scarlet Crusader: Never wash your whites with a Scarlet Crusader.
• Play: “For the Crusade!”
• Attack: “Join… or die.”
• Southsea Captain: When he saves enough plunder, he's going to commission an enormous captain's hat. He has hat envy.
• Play: “Trust the pirate code.”
• Attack: “Scurvy dog!”
• Tauren Warrior: Tauren Warrior: Champion of Mulgore, Slayer of Quilboar, Rider of Thunderbluff Elevators.
• Play: “May my ancestors watch over me.”
• Attack: “Bring it on.”
• Thrallmar Farseer: He's stationed in the Hellfire Peninsula, but he's hoping for a reassignment closer to Orgrimmar, or really anywhere the ground is less on fire.
• Play: “What does the future hold?”
• Attack: “I see… your end.”
• Tinkmaster Overspark: Tinkmaster Overspark nearly lost his Tinker's license after the Great Ironforge Squirrel Stampede of '09.
• Play: "This time, for sure!"
• Attack: "For Gnomeregan!"
• Ancient Brewmaster: Most pandaren say his brew tastes like yak. But apparently that's a compliment.
• Play: “I’ll put it on your tab.”
• Attack: “Another round?”
• Ancient Mage: Sometimes he forgets and just wanders into someone else's game.
• Play: “Sometimes, I forget things.”
• Attack: “Uh, where am I?”
• Cult Master: She may be an evil cult master, but she still calls her parents once a week.
• Play: “Join… or die! Or both.”
• Attack: “Mwhahahaha! Who’s next?”
• Death: “Aaaah! Death again!”
• Dark Iron Dwarf: Guardians of Dark Iron Ore. Perhaps the most annoying ore, given where you have to forge it.
• Play: “Ya call that a weapon? Humph!”
• Attack: “Done.”
• Defender of Argus: You wouldn’t think that Argus would need this much defending. But it does.
• Play: “My shield, for Argus!”
• Attack: “Into the breach!”
• Dread Corsair: "Yarrrr" is a pirate word that means "Greetings, milord."
• Play: “Blood and plunder!”
• Attack: “No quarter!”
• Mogu'shan Warden: All these guys ever do is talk about the Thunder King. BOOOORRRINNG!
• Play: “Pandaria will be ours!”
• Attack: “Yeah! Payback!”
• Silvermoon Guardian:The first time they tried to guard Silvermoon against the scourge, it didn’t go so well…
• Play: “Silvermoon shall not fall!”
• Attack: “Remember Quel’thalas!”
• Death: “Owie!”
• Spellbreaker: Spellbreakers can rip enchantments from magic-wielders. The process is painless and can be performed on an outpatient basis.
• Play: “Your magic shall not save you!”
• Attack: “Die, mage.”
• Twilight Drake: Twilight drakes feed on Mystical Energy. And Tacos.
• Violet Teacher: If you don't pay attention, you may be turned into a pig. And then you get your name on the board.
• Play: “Pay attention, class!”
• Attack: “Instruction begins!”
• Violet Apprentice: [Summoned by Violet Teacher]
• Play: “I am ready to learn.”
• Attack: “I shall do as you say.”
• Abomination: Abominations enjoy Fresh Meat and long walks on the beach.
• Play: “What. We. Do.”
• Attack: “Rend. And. Tear.”
• Azure Drake: They initially planned to be the Beryl or Cerulean drakes, but those felt a tad too pretentious.
• Big Game Hunter: Mere devilsaurs no longer excite him. Soon he'll be trying to catch Onyxia with only a dull Krol Blade.
• Play: “Ah’ve got the beast in mah sights.”
• Attack: “Gotcha!”
• Captain Greenskin: He was this close to piloting a massive juggernaut into Stormwind Harbor. If it weren't for those pesky kids!
• Play: “Drink up me hearties!”
• Attack: “Yo ho! Ahahahahah!”
• Faceless Manipulator: The Faceless Ones are servants of Yogg-Saron, and they feed on fear. Right now they are feeding on your fear of accidentally disenchanting all your good cards.
• Fen Creeper: He used to be called Bog Beast, but it confused people because he wasn't an actual beast. Boom, New Name!
• Harrison Jones: “That belongs in the Hall of Explorers!”
• Play: “That belongs in a museum!”
• Leeroy Jenkins: At least he has Angry Chicken.
• Play: “Leeeeeeeeeeeroy Jyenkins!”
• Attack: “Time’s up, let’s do this!”
• Death: “At least I have chicken.”
• Silver Hand Knight: It's good to be a knight. Less so to be one's squire.
• Play: “Squire, attend me!”
• Attack: “To battle!”
• Squire: [Summoned by Silver Hand Knight]
• Play: “Ready sir.”
• Attack: “Uh, if… you insist.”
• Spiteful Smith: She'll craft you a sword, but you'll need to bring her 5 Steel Ingots, 3 Motes of Earth, and the scalp of her last customer.
• Play: “They are bent! To my command!”
• Attack: “Suffer!”
• Stampeding Kodo: This Kodo is so big that he can stampede by himself.
• Stranglethorn Tiger: The wonderful thing about tigers is tigers are wonderful things!
• Venture Co. Mercenary: No Job is too big. No fee is too big.
• Play: “Y-y-you gotta be kiddin’ me!”
• Attack: “Heh, how you doin’?”
• Death: “Not good! Not good! Agony!”
• Argent Commander: The Argent Dawn stands vigilant against the Scourge, as well as people who cut in line at coffee shops.
• Play: “To Northrend!”
• Attack: “Victory, or death!”
• Cairne Bloodhoof: Cairne was killed by Garrosh, so... don't put this guy in a Warrior deck. It's pretty insensitive.
• Play: “Take heart, young one. The Earth Mother is near.”
• Play [Against Garrosh]: “Garrosh! You are not fit to rule the Horde.”
• Attack: “For honor.”
• Baine Bloodhoof: [Summoned by Cairne Bloodhoof]
• Play: “The eyes of the Earth Mother is upon us.”
• Attack: “Ishne’alo’porah!”
• Frost Elemental: When a Water elemental and an Ice elemental love each other VERY much...
• Gadgetzan Auctioneer: He used to run the black market auction house, but there was just too much violence and he had to move.
• Play: “I got the best deals anywhere.”
• Attack: “Heheheheh, time to pay!”
• Hogger: Hogger is super powerful. If you kill him, it's because he let you.
• Illidan Stormrage: Illidan's brother, Malfurion, imprisoned him beneath Hyjal for 10,000 years. Stormrages are not good at letting go of grudges.
• Play: “You! Are not! Prepared!”
• Play [Against Malfurion]: “Hello…. Brother.”
• Attack: “Who shall be next to taste my blade?”
• Priestess of Elune: If she threatens to "moon" you, it's not what you think.
• Play: “I am the blade of the goddess.”
• Attack: “Anu’danah’dalore!”  
• Sunwalker: She doesn’t ACTUALLY walk on the Sun. It's just a name. Don’t worry!
• Play: “Truth is my shield.”
• Attack: “Justice shall prevail.”
• Sylvanas Windrunner: Sylvanas was turned into the Banshee Queen by Arthas, but he probably should have just killed her because it just pissed her off.
• Play: “I have no time for games.”
• Attack: “Let none survive.”
• The Beast: He lives in Blackrock Mountain. He eats Gnomes. That's pretty much it.
• Finkle Einhorn: [Summoned by the Beast]
• Play: “Uuhhh. I’ve been inside that thing for months.”
• Attack: “Finkle-strike!”
• The Black Knight: He was sent by the Lich King to disrupt the Argent Tournament. We can pretty much mark that a failure.
• Play: “None shall pass.”
• Attack: “I’m invincible!”
• Windfury Harpy: Harpies are not pleasant sounding. That's the nicest I can put it.
• Baron Geddon: Baron Geddon was Ragnaros's foremost lieutenant, until he got FIRED.
• Play: “You will burn.”
• Gruul: He's Gruul "the Dragonkiller". He just wanted to cuddle them… he never meant to…
• Play: “Unworthy…”
• Attack: “No! Escape!”
• Ravenholdt Assassin: Just mail him a package with a name and 10,000 gold. He'll take care of the rest.
• Play: “I hear you’ve got a problem.”
• Attack: “Heh heh, problem solved.”
• Ragnaros the Firelord: Ragnaros was summoned by the Dark Iron dwarves, who were eventually enslaved by the Firelord. Summoning Ragnaros often doesn’t work out the way you want it to.
• Play: "BY FIRE BE PURGED!"
• Attack: "Too soon."
• Trigger: "DIE, INSECT!"
• Alexstrasza: Alexstrasza the Life-Binder brings life and hope to everyone. Except Deathwing. And Malygos. And Nekros.
• Play: “I bring life and hope.”
• Attack: “I will mourn your death.”
• Malygos: Malygos hates it when mortals use magic. He gets so mad!
• Play: “I am the essence of MAGIC!”
• Attack: “You are FINISHED!”
• Nozdormu: Time to write some flavor text.
• Play: “Just in time.” 
• Attack: “Your time… is up.”
• Onyxia: Onyxia long manipulated the Stormwind Court by disguising herself as Lady Katrana Prestor. You would have thought that the giant wings and scales would have been a giveaway.
• Play: “You dare challenge the daughter of Deathwing?”
• Attack: “You shall pay for your insolence!”
• Ysera: Ysera rules the Emerald Dream. Which is some kind of green-mirror-version of the real world, or something?
• Play: “I dream… and the world trembles.”
• Attack: “I shall bring you rest!”
• Laughing Sister: [Summoned by Ysera]
• Play: “Is there trouble?”
• Attack: “I’m game!”
• Deathwing: Once a noble dragon known as Neltharion, Deathwing lost his mind and shattered Azeroth before finally being defeated. Daddy issues?
• Play: “I! Am POWER! INCARNAAAATE!”
• Attack: “ALL! WILL BURN!”
• Sea Giant: See? Giant.
• Mountain Giant: His mother said that he was just big boned.
• Molten Giant: He gets terrible heartburn. BECAUSE HE IS FULL OF LAVA.

Druid Cards:

• Keeper of the Grove: These guys just show up and start Keeping your Groves without even asking
• Play: “I must safeguard the land.”
• Attack: “Feel! Nature’s wrath!”
• Druid of the Claw: Cat or Bear? Cat or Bear?! I just cannot CHOOSE!
• Play: “Where shall I strike?”
• Attack: [if untransformed] “My strength is yours.”
• Ancient of Lore: Go ahead, carve your initials in him.
• Ancient of War: Young Night Elves love to play "Who can get the Ancient of War to Uproot?" You lose if you get crushed to death.
• Cenarius: Yes, he's a demigod. No, he doesn't need to wear a shirt.
• Play: “Who dares defile this ancient land?”
• Attack: “Naturally.”
• Naturalize: Another one bites the dust.
• Savagery: It is true that some druids are savage, but others still enjoy a quiet moment and a spot of tea.
• Power of the Wild: Never look a panther in the eye. Or is it 'Always look a panther in the eye'? Well, it's one of those.
• Wrath: The talk around the Ratchet Inn is that this card is too good and should be a Legendary.
• Mark of Nature: Druids call it the "Mark of Nature." Everyone else calls it "needing a bath."
• Bite: Chew your food!
• Soul of the Forest: "Reforestation" is suddenly a terrifying word.
• Nourish: Druids take nourishment from many things: the power of nature, the songbird's chirp, a chocolate cake.
• Starfall: Is the sky falling? Yes. Yes it is.
• Force of Nature: "I think I'll just nap under these trees. Wait... AAAAAHHH!" - Blinkfizz, the Unfortunate Gnome

Hunter Cards:

• Scavenging Hyena: Hyenas prefer the bones of kodos or windserpents, but they'll eat pretty much anything. Even Brussels sprouts.
• Savannah Highmane: In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion gets slowly consumed by hyenas.
• King Krush: The best defense against King Krush is to have someone you don’t like standing in front of you.
• Bestial Wrath: The seething wrath is just beneath the surface. Beneath that is wild abandon, followed by slight annoyance.
• Explosive Trap: It traps your food AND cooks it for you!
• Flare: Not only does it reveal your enemies, but it’s also great for parties!
• Freezing Trap: "Dang, that's cold." - appropriate response to Freezing Trap, or a mean joke.
• Misdirection: Sometimes it's as simple as putting on a fake mustache and pointing at someone else.
• Snake Trap: Why did it have to be snakes?
• Snipe:  A great sniper hits the spot. Just like a delicious flank of boar. Mmmmm.
• Deadly Shot: Accuracy is not a highly valued trait among the mok'nathal. Deadliness is near the top, though.
• Unleash the Hounds:  You must read the name of this card out loud each time you play it.
• Explosive Shot: Pull the pin, count to 5, then shoot. Then duck.
• Eaglehorn Bow:  First Lesson: Put the pointy end in the other guy.
• Gladiator's Longbow: The longbow allows shots to be fired from farther away and is useful for firing on particularly odorous targets.

Mage Cards:

• Mana Wyrm: These wyrms feed on arcane energies, and while they are generally considered a nuisance rather than a real threat, you really shouldn't leave them alone with a bucket of mana.
• Sorcerer's Apprentice: Apprentices are great for bossing around. "Conjure me some mana buns! And a coffee! Make that a mana coffee!"
• Play: “Someday I’ll be just like you!”
• Attack: "Me?"
• Kirin Tor Mage: The Kirin Tor reside in the floating city of Dalaran. How do you make a Dalaran float? Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of Dalaran.
• Play: “We have many secrets.”
• Attack: “For Dalaran!”
• Ethereal Arcanist: The ethereals are wrapped in cloth to give form to their non-corporeal bodies. Also because it's nice and soft.
• Archmage Antonidas: Antonidas was the Grand Magus of the Kirin Tor, and Jaina's mentor. This was a big step up from being Grand Magus of Jelly Donuts.
• Play: "You require my assistance?"
• Attack: "To battle!"
• Trigger: "Aha!"
• Ice Lance: The trick is not to break the lance. Otherwise, you have "Ice Pieces." Ice Pieces aren't as effective.
• Counterspell: What's the difference between a mage playing with Counterspell and a mage who isn't? The mage who isn't is getting Pyroblasted in the face.
• Ice Barrier: This is Rank 1. Rank 2 is Chocolate Milk Barrier.
• Ice Block: Ice is nice, and will suffice!
• Mirror Entity: "You go first." - Krush'gor the Behemoth, to his pet boar.
• Spellbender: While it's fun to intercept enemy lightning bolts, a spellbender much prefers to intercept opposing Marks of the Wild. It just feels meaner. And blood elves... well, they're a little mean.
• Spellbender: [Minion summoned by the Spellbender Trap]
• Play: "I'll take that."
• Attack: "As you wish."
• Vaporize: Rumor has it that Deathwing brought about the Cataclysm after losing a game to this card. We may never know the truth.
• Cone of Cold: Magi of the Kirin Tor were casting Cubes of Cold for many years before Cones came into fashion some 90 years ago.
• Blizzard: This spell can be very Entertaining.
• Pyroblast: Take the time for an evil laugh after you draw this card.

Paladin Cards:

• Silver Hand Recruit:[summoned by hero power]
• Play: “Reporting for duty.”
• Attack: “To battle!”
• Argent Protector: "I'm not saying you can dodge fireballs. I'm saying with this shield, you won't have to."
• Play: "Not on my watch."
• Attack: "This is my responsibility."
• Aldor Peacekeeper: The Aldor hate two things: the Scryers and smooth jazz.
• Play: “Follow the rules!”
• Attack: “Last warning!”
• Tirion Fordring: If you haven't heard the Tirion Fordring theme song, it's because it doesn't exist.
• Play: "Put your faith in the Light!"
• Attack: "Don't test me, child!"
• Blessing of Wisdom: Apparently with wisdom comes the knowledge that you should probably be attacking every turn.
• Eye for an Eye: Justice sometimes takes the form of a closed fist into a soft cheek.
• Noble Sacrifice: We will always remember you, "Defender!"
• Defender: [Summoned by Noble Sacrifice]
• Play: "GET DOWN!"
• Attack: "Ha, I lived!"
• Redemption: I am not sure how you get demptioned the first time. It’s a mystery!
• Repentance: Repentance often comes in the moment before obliteration. Curious.
• Equality: We are all special unique snowflakes... with 1 Health.
• Divine Favor:  This is not just a favor, but a divine one, like helping someone move a couch with a fold out bed!
• Blessed Champion: This card causes double the trouble AND double the fun.
• Holy Wrath: C'mon Molten Giant!!
• Avenging Wrath: Wham! Wham! Wham! Wham! Wham! Wham! Wham! Wham!
• Lay on Hands: A grammatically awkward life saver.
• Sword of Justice: I dub you Sir Loin of Beef!

Priest Cards:

• Lightwell: It isn't clear if people ignore the Lightwell, or if it is just invisible.
• Auchenai Soulpriest:  The Auchenai know the end is coming, but they're not sure when.
• Play: "Embrace the void."
• Attack: "Feel my pain."
• Lighstpawn: Spawn of the Light? Or Pawn of the Lights?
• Cabal Shadow Priest: You never know who may be secretly working for the Cabal....
• Play: "Let me change your mind."
• Attack: "Obey!"
• Death: "No!"
• Temple Enforcer: He also moonlights Thursday nights as a bouncer at the Pig and Whistle Tavern.
• Prophet Velen: He's been exiled from his home, and all his brothers turned evil, but otherwise he doesn't have a lot to complain about.
• Play: "Not all who wander are lost."
• Attack: "I foresaw that."
• Circle of Healing: It isn't really a circle.
• Silence: Reserved for enemy spellcasters, evil liches from beyond the grave, and karaoke nights at the Grim Guzzler.
• Inner Fire: Good idea: Buffing your minions. Bad idea: Starting a conversation in the Barrens.
• Shadowform: If a bright light shines on a priest in Shadowform… do they cast a shadow?
• Thoughtsteal: "What do you get when you cast Thoughtsteal on an Orc? Nothing!" - Tauren joke
• Mass Dispel: It dispels buffs, powers, hopes, and dreams.
• Mindgames: Sometimes it feels like this is all a game.
• Shadow Madness: You can rationalize it all you want, it's still a mean thing to do.
• Holy Fire: Often followed by Holy Smokes!

Rogue Cards:

• Defias Ringleader: He stole the deed to town years ago, so technically the town is his. He just calls people Scrub to be mean.
• Play: “This is our town, scrub!”
• Attack: “You lookin’ at me?”
• Defias Bandit: [summoned by Defias Ringleader]
• Play: “Yeah, beat it!”
• Patient Assassin: He’s not really that patient. It just takes a while for someone to walk by that he can actually reach.
• Play: “Go ahead. M’hyeh hyeh. Make my day.”
• Attack: “Goodbye...”
• Edwin VanCleef: He led the Stonemasons in the reconstruction of Stormwind, and when the nobles refused to pay, he founded the Defias Brotherhood to, well, deconstruct Stormwind.
• Play: “The Brotherhood shall prevail.”
• Attack: “Lapdogs! All of you!”
• SI:7 Agent: The agents of SI:7 are responsible for Stormwind's covert activities. Their duties include espionage, assassination, and throwing surprise birthday parties for the royal family.
• Play: “Ha! This guy’s toast.”
• Attack: “Hey. Lights out.”
• Master of Disguise: She's actually a male tauren. People don't call him "Master of Disguise" for nothing.
• Play: “Enter the shadows!”
• Attack: “Blades ready!”
• Kidnapper: He just wants people to see his vacation photos.
• Play: “I usually work alone.”
• Attack: “Come here!”
• Preparation: "Be Prepared" - Rogue Motto
• Shadowstep:  Rogue dance troops will sometimes Shadowstep away at the end of a performance. Crowds love it.
• Cold Blood:  "I'm cold blooded, check it and see!"
• Conceal: Rogues conceal everything but their emotions. You can't get 'em to shut up about feelings.
• Betrayal: Everyone has a price. Gnomes, for example, can be persuaded by stuffed animals and small amounts of chocolate.
• Blade Flurry: "Look, it's not just about waving daggers around really fast. It's a lot more complicated than that." - Shan, Rogue Trainer
• Eviscerate: There is a high cost to Eviscerating your opponent: It takes a long time to get blood stains out of leather armor.
• Headcrack: When all else fails, nothing beats a swift whack upside the head.
• Perdition's Blade: Perdition's Blade is Ragnaros's back-up weapon while Sulfuras is in the shop.

Shaman Cards:

• Dust Devil: Westfall is full of dust devils. And buzzards. And crazed golems. And pirates. Why does anyone live here?
• Mana Tide Totem: It is said that some shaman can say "Floatin' totem" 10 times, fast.
• Unbound Elemental: Unlike bound elementals, Unbound ones really enjoy a night on the town.
• Earth Elemental: Nothing beats rock.
• Al'akir the Windlord: He is the weakest of the four Elemental Lords. And the other three don't let him forget it.
• Play: "Wiiiiiinds! Obey my commands!"
• Attack: "Like swatting insects!" 
• Earth Shock: Earth Shock? Shouldn't it be "Azeroth Shock"?
• Forked Lightning: If you combine it with Spooned Lightning and Knived Lightning, you have the full dining set.
• Lightning Bolt: Lightning Bolt! Lightning Bolt! Lightning Bolt!
• Ancestral Spirit: It was just a flesh wound.
• Far Sight: Drek'thar can't see, but he can see. You know what I mean? It's ok if you don't.
• Feral Spirit: Spirit wolves are like regular wolves with pom-poms.
• Lava Burst: It's like an ocean of liquid magma in your mouth!
• Lightning Storm: An umbrella won't be effective, I'm afraid.
• Stormforged Axe: Yo, that's a nice axe.
• Doomhammer: Orgrim Doomhammer gave this legendary weapon to Thrall. His name is a total coincidence.

Warlock Cards:

• Blood Imp: Imps are content to hide and viciously taunt everyone nearby.
• Play: "Do I have to?"
• Attack: “Sure! Send the little guy!”
• Flame Imp: Imps like being on fire. They just do.
• Play: "Yeah I'll get riiight on it."
• Attack: “Ugh! Is this really necessary?”
• Felguard: Yes, he'll fight for you. BUT HE'S NOT GOING TO LIKE IT.
• Play: “I will enjoy watching you die.”
• Attack: “Too pathetic to fight your own battles?”
• Void Terror: If you put this into your deck, you WILL lose the trust of your other minions.
• Pit Lord: Mannoroth, Magtheridon, and Brutallus may be dead, but it turns out there are a LOT of pit lords.
• Play: “To the slaughter.”
• Attack: “Perish, insect.”
• Summoning Portal: NOT LESS THAN 1! Don't get any ideas!
• Doomguard: Summoning a doomguard is risky. Someone is going to die.
• Play: “Who dares summon me?”
• Attack: “A paltry task.”
• Lord Jaraxxus: "TRIFLING GNOME! YOUR ARROGANCE WILL BE YOUR UNDOING!!!!"
• Play: “You face JARAXXUS! EREDAR LORD OF THE BURNING LEGION!”
• Play (with Wilfred Fizzlebang): “Trifling gnome! Your arrogance will be your undoing!”
• Attack: [as a minion] "Mu hu ha ha ha!"
• Power Overwhelming: We cannot even describe how horrible the death is. It's CRAZY bad! Maybe worse than that. Just don't do it.
• Demonfire: Demonfire is like regular fire except for IT NEVER STOPS BURNING HELLLPPP
• Sense Demons: Generally demons are pretty obvious and you don’t need a spell to sense them.
• Shadowflame: Start with a powerful minion and stir in Shadowflame and you have a good time!
• Bane of Doom: My advice to you is to avoid Doom, if possible.
• Siphon Soul: You probably should avoid siphoning your own soul. You might create some kind of weird infinite loop. 
• Twisting Nether: The Twisting Nether is a formless place of magic and illusion and destroyed minions.

Warrior Cards:

• Armorsmith: She accepts guild funds for repairs!
• Play: “Armor. Made to fit.”
• Attack: “Strike!”
• Cruel Taskmaster: "I'm going to need you to come in on Sunday." - Cruel Taskmaster
• Play: “Back to work!”
• Attack: “No problem!”
• Frothing Berserker: He used to work as an accountant before he tried his hand at Berserkering.
• Play: “Ma blade be thirsty!”
• Attack: “I strike.”
• Arathi Weaponsmith: 50% off fist weapons, limited time only!
• Play: “Arrh, try this!”
• Attack: “Watch this!”
• Grommash Hellscream: Grommash drank the tainted blood of Mannoroth, dooming the orcs to green skin and red eyes! Maybe not his best decision.
• Play: “I can wait no longer!”
• Attack: “Taste my blade!”
• Inner Rage: They're only smiling on the outside.
• Shield Slam: "What is a better weapon? The sharp one your enemies expect, or the blunt one they ignore?" - The Art of Warrior, Chapter 9
• Upgrade!: Easily worth 50 DKP.
• Battle Rage: "You won't like me when I'm angry."
• Commanding Shout: "Shout! Shout! Let it all out!" - Advice to warriors-in-training.
• Rampage: Minion get ANGRY. Minion SMASH!
• Slam: "Dun da dun, dun da dun": if you've heard an ogre sing this, it's too late.
• Mortal Strike: "If you only use one ability, use Mortal Strike." - The Warrior Code, Line 6
• Brawl: Do you know the first rule of Brawl Club?
• Gorehowl: Grommash Hellscream's famous axe. Somehow this ended up in Prince Malchezaar's possession. Quite the mystery!

______________________________________________________________________

Reward Set

Neutral Minions:

• Captain's Parrot: Pirates and Parrots go together like Virmen and Carrots.
• Play: "Rawk! Pieces of eight!"

Legendary Neutral Minions:

• Old Murk-Eye: He's a legend among murlocs. "Mrghllghghllghg!", they say.
• Elite Tauren Chieftain: He's looking for a drummer. The current candidates are: Novice Engineer, Sen'jin Shieldmasta', and Ragnaros the Firelord.
• Gelbin Mekkatorque: He's the leader of the gnomes, and an incredible inventor. He's getting better, too; He turns things into chickens WAY less than he used to.
• Play: “Behold, my mighty invention!”
• Attack: “I won’t stand for that!”