Hearthstone Card Descriptions & Dialogue List #6: Mean Streets of Gadgetzan

Mean Streets of Gadgetzan

Neutral Cards:

• Mistress of Mixtures: Her favorite mixture is cola and lime.
• Play: “Side effects? None… trust me.”
• Attack: “This might sting.”
• Patches the Pirate: What do sailors yell when Patches steals their treasure chest full of laws and other things being transported to parliament for a vote? "The Eyes have it!"
• Play: “I’m in charge, now.”
• Attack: “Aye aye!”
• Death: “Ayeee-”
• Small-Time Buccaneer: "Oh, I'm not serious about it. I only pirate on the weekends."
• Play: “Who goes tharrr?”
• Weasel Tunneler: He's the reason the First Bank of Gadgetzan has steel floors.
• Blowgill Sniper: Imagine how much further his darts would go if he had lungs instead of gills!
• Dirty Rat: It's not his fault… Someone keeps stealing his soap!
• Play: “I ain’t talkin’!”
• Attack: “Me talk! Me talk!”
• Friendly Bartender: "What'll it be? A Jade Brew? A Grimy Goose? A Kabal Manatini?"
• Play: “Don’t forget to tip the Tauren!”
• Attack: “Bottoms up!”
• Gadgetzan Socialite: Comment on her height, and she'll go from flapper to kneecapper in seconds flat.
• Play: “Dance with me!”
• Attack: “Applesauce!”
• Auctionmaster Beardo: Gadgetzan has always run an under-the-table auction house, and business has been PRETTY good for Beardo since the population explosion. And since the explosion that destroyed the competing auction houses in the city.
• Play: “Time is money, friend!”
• Attack: “No time!”
• Backstreet Leper: Quit playing games with his heart. And his fingers. And foot. It's rude.
• Play: “You feel icky!”
• Attack: “All right!”
• Death: “Oooh icky!”
• Blubber Baron: When oil, railroad, steel, robber, and red are all already taken, your options are limited.
• Play: “One fer da boss, two fer me! Hee hee.”
• Death: “B-b-b-busted!”
• Fel Orc Soulfiend: “Doc says the persistent burning sensation in my soul is probably just an ulcer.”
• Play: “Power consumes me.”
• Attack: “Perish!”
• Hired Gun: He loves his job and would do it for free! (But don't tell his boss!)
• Play: “Talk about a nice suit!”
• Attack: “Fire! Everything!”
• Sergeant Sally: "Who is she? Where did she come from? We don't even have a police force here in Gadgetzan!!" - Mayor Noggenfogger
• Play: “Back in the slammer!”
• Attack: “Freeze!”
• Street Trickster: His first trick: making your wallet disappear!
• Play: “I just need a volunteer!”
• Attack: “Ala-Kabal!”
• Toxic Sewer Ooze: When Sergeant Sally shows up unexpectedly, DO NOT FLUSH YOUR MANA CRYSTALS DOWN THE TOILET.
• Backroom Bruiser: "WHY ARE YOU IN THE BACK ROOM? WHO IS WATCHING THE FRONT?!"
• Play: “You on the list?”
• Attack: “Back of the line!”
• Daring Reporter: She's working on a story! While skydiving!
• Play: “Gadgetzan Gazette always gets the scoop!”
• Attack: “I want answers!”
• Genzo, the Shark: Infamous in the seedy underground card rooms of Gadgetzan, he got his nickname winning the coveted Shark Plushie in the city's first Hearthstone tournament.
• Play: “Pick a card. Any card…”
• Attack: “Go fish.”
• Hozen Healer: He didn't go to school for healing, but we keep losing all the good healers to Ratchet, so I guess we'll take him.
• Summon: “What doesn’t blook you will grook you.”
• Attack: “Hoo hoo hi-yah!”
• Kooky Chemist: #abs
• Play: “Delicious! Spider ichor!”
• Attack: “Have another dose!”
• Death: “It hurts!”
• Naga Corsair: Hook-tails are nice and all but she keeps getting stuck on things.
• Play: “Sssscuttle the ship!”
• Attack: “Taste my blades-ssss!”
• Tanaris Hogchopper: The Hogchoppers are well-known throughout Kalimdor for being a real, actual group.
• Play: “Born to be -burp- wild.”
• Attack: “R- Ride free!”
• Worgen Greaser: Hair products are 79% of his monthly budget.
• Play: “I’m nothing but a hound dog.”
• Attack: “Watch the hair!”
• Bomb Squad: Please don't explode! Please don't explode! Please don't explode!
• Play: “It’s boom o’clock!”
• Attack: “Boom! Ha!”
• Death: “Bombs… away…”
• Burgly Bully: He only burgles to pay the bills. He is really just a bully at heart.
• Play: “Shiny…”
• Attack: “Troggle troggle.”
• Doppelgangster: "Every me, get in here!"
• Play: “Get ‘em, boys.”
• Attack: “All fer one!”
• Doppelgangster: [summoned by Doppelgangster]
• Play: “Seeing triple?”
• Attack: [first clone] “Such a shame!”
• Attack: [second clone] “A pity…”
• Finja, the Flying Star: The last true master of Finjitsu.
• Grook-Fu Master: Grook Fu, the ancient Hozen art of bashing heads with a stick.
• Play: “Weak slickies good for grooking.”
• Attack: “G-g-grook ‘em!”
• Red Mana Wyrm: It has double the Attack. "Go on." And double the Health. "Yes??" And its trigger has twice the effect. "WHAT???" And it costs… Five times more.
• Second Rate Bruiser: He'll be a first-rate bruiser once he gets used to his contacts.
• Play: “I’m not rea-dy.”
• Spiked Hogrider: Did you know the Hogchoppers compete every year at the Mirage Raceway? They do. It's a real group.
• Play: “Livin’ high on the hog.”
• Attack 1: “This piggy’s goin’ to market.”
• Attack 2: “Mm, bacon!”
• Attack 3: “It’s butcherin’ time!”
• Streetwise Investigator: "Hmmmm… Call it a hunch, but I'm starting to think that there may be some kind of criminal activity going on in Gadgetzan."
• Play: “You can’t hide from me!”
• Attack: “Hey, you!”
• Death: “Gggaah come on!”
• Ancient of Blossoms: His new shampoo is really working!
• Big-Time Racketeer: "It'd be a shame if someone disenchanted those Legendaries."
• Play: “Say hello to my little friend!”
• “Little Friend”: [Summoned by Big-Time Racketeer]
• Play: “Helloooo.”
• Attack: “Get ‘em.”
• Defias Cleaner: His house cleaning service is quite thorough. Not a spot to be found... or any of your stuff!
• Play: “Just. Act. Natural.”
• Attack: “Easy.”
• Fight Promoter: "Yeah, I can get you Knuckles. No, no, he's been clean for *weeks*."
• Play: “Hey. You need tickets?”
• Attack: “Fight!”
• Leatherclad Hogleader: The Hogchoppers, the terrors of Tanaris, can always be found at one tavern or another in Gadgetzan, refueling for totally real and legit adventures that they go on.
• Play: “Hogriders! Roll out!”
• Attack: “Sooo-weee!”
• Madam Goya: She has set up her Black Market here in Gadgetzan for one purpose, to make a KILLING when Beanie Babies make their inevitable comeback.
• Play: “Everyone has a price.”
• Attack: “Your debt. Is due.”
• Wind-Up Burglebot: Don't blame the bot for his crimes... Blame whoever keeps winding him up!
• Play: “Robbery: commencing.”
• Attack: “Do not: resist.”
• Death: “Ow.”
• Wrathion: Wrathion, son of Deathwing, is a dragon. Why isn't he tagged as a dragon, you ask? WHAT, ARE YOU TRYING TO BLOW HIS COVER??
• Play: “I must remain hidden to remain free.”
• Attack: “I am free!”
• Mayor Noggenfogger: This flavor text was randomly generated. If it happens to form words and make sense, that is purely by chance.
• Play: “Welcome to Gadgetzan!”
• Attack: “Hey, beat it!”

Tri-Class Minions: [Grimy Goons, Jade Lotus & Kabal, in that order]

• Grimestreet Informant: "Naw, naw. You're talkin' about Grime BOULEVARD. I ain't know nuthin' 'bout that."
• Play: “Hey, Goons! Over here!”
• Attack: “There they are!”
• Death: “I’m outta here!”
• Grimestreet Smuggler: She's got anything you want. Need the latest derpinger? No problem!
• Play: “What? They fell off a truck.”
• Attack: “A demo.”
• Death: “Outta… bullets…”
• Don Han’Cho: [Grimy Goons] The brilliant mastermind of the Grimy Goons, Han sometimes thinks about ditching the idiot Cho, but that would just tear him apart.
• Play: “Hey. Join da Goons!” “Or meet my fist.”
• Attack: “We’ll handle this.” “SMASH!”
• Jade Spirit: "He's so cute! I just want to squeeze him, then use him for Jade Golem parts!" - Aya Blackpaw
• Lotus Agents: Mostly, they stand around and look cool.
• Play: “Balance in all things.”
• Attack: “Forward.” “Strike.”
• Aya Blackpaw: [Jade Lotus] Though young, Aya took over as the leader of Jade Lotus through her charisma and strategic acumen when her predecessor was accidentally crushed by a jade golem.
• Play: “Golems are a girl’s best friend!”
• Attack: “You die now! [giggles]”
• Death: “You’re no fun~”
• Kabal Courier: Hey, you park your kodo under a harpy nest, you get what you deserve.
• Play: “CRYSSS-TALS! Fresh from Kazakus!”
• Kabal Chemist: Sure you could have that Polymorph potion, but wouldn't you rather have this mystery potion? It could be anything. Even a Polymorph potion!
• Play: “Drink the power.”
• Attack: “Drink up!”
• Kazakus: [Kabal] The mysterious leader of the Kabal is NOT a dragon, and does NOT deal in illegal potions. Any public statements to the contrary will be met with litigation and Dragonfire Potions.
• Play: “At last. A worthy disciple.”
• Attack: “Serve. Or die.”

Druid Cards:

• Celestial Dreamer: If you think her job is easy, YOU try falling asleep on cue.
• Play: “Form of… dragon!”
• Attack: “Power!”
• Virmen Sensei: There is no carrot.
• Play: “May the carrot guide you!”
• Attack: “Carrottttt chop!”
• Jade Behemoth: I think we should talk about the jade elephant in the room.
• Kun, the Forgotten King: Aya siphons a bit of Kun's soul to animate each golem in her Jade army. To his credit, he's being a great sport about it.
• Play: “A Hundred Kings will rise again!
• Attack: “BEND! To my will!” 
• Jade Idol: Shuffle or no guts.
• Mark of the Lotus: The mark of the Lotus is a little flower drawn in permanent marker on the ankle.
• Jade Blossom: Meditating under a jade blossom is said to grant you wisdom, unless you have a pollen allergy.
• Pilfered Power: The Hozen don't get paid much, but at least they get to keep any excess mana.
• Lunar Visions: The true mystery of lunar visions is how there is nothing to watch when there are so many channels.

Hunter Cards:

• Alleycat: To be a cool cat in Gadgetzan, you gotta have bling.
• Trogg Beastrager: Still angry that the Gadgetzan Rager Club wouldn't accept him as a member.
• Play: “Trogg tame stupid!”
• Attack: “Trogg smash!”
• Rat Pack: He's gonna do it his way.
• Shaky Zipgunner: The Grimy Goons can get you any weapon you want but if you want it to not explode you gotta pay extra.
• Play: “T-this n-no look safe!”
• Dispatch Kodo: "Crime reported at First Bank of Gadgetzan. Huge quantities of Jade being carried away by what looks like a bunch of Hozen. Kodo 77 can you make it over there now?"
• Knuckles: When confronted with accusations of performance-enhancing bananas, Knuckles replied, "I get my fruit from trees I knock down with my bare hands like everyone else."
• Smuggler’s Crate: Are you sure these are the crates that are supposed to go to the Gadgetzan petting zoo?
• Hidden Cache: There is an urban legend that the first Toxic Sewer Ooze was born because a rookie Goon stashed an open container of milk in a Hidden Cache.
• Piranha Launcher: A great improvement over the guppy launcher.

Mage Cards:

• Kabal Lackey: I'll tell you one thing he doesn't lack: GUMPTION.
• Play: “I’m wit’ da Kabal!”
• Attack: “Kabaaaal business!”
• Manic Soulcaster: When casting a tournament, you really have to put your soul into it!
• Play: “It only costs my soul!”
• Attack: “Ugh. Swords.”
• Cryomancer: She loves Frozen. I mean who doesn't?
• Play: “You are shivering.”
• Attack: “Freeeeeze.”
• Kabal Crystal Runner: "Listen, I can cut you in on a little of this premium mana, but you can't tell my boss."
• Play: “I’m late. I’m late!”
• Attack: “Quickly!”
• Inkmaster Solia: Solia marks the Kabal with intricate tattoos that grant immense power. Also it makes it harder for other gangs to recruit from their numbers. BACK OFF, GOONS.
• Play: “Embrace the power of the Kabal!”
• Attack: “So! MUCH! POWER!”
• Freezing Potion: This is delicious! Oh no. BRAIN FREEEEEEEZE!
• Potion of Polymorph: Tastes like Baaaaananas.
• Volcanic Potion: The secret ingredient in Kazakus's award-winning chili recipe.
• Greater Arcane Missiles: Wow, and I thought Arcane Missiles was great!

Paladin Cards:

• Grimscale Chum: Listen, see? We'll take 'em to the docks, see? And throw 'em in the sea, see?
• Meanstreet Marshal: Remember, submit your bribes directly to the Marshal - it's the law!
• Play: “You gonna sleep with the fishes.”
• Attack: “Ya see?”
• Grimestreet Outfitter: If you bargain hard, he'll throw in the hat.
• Play: “Accidents! They happen, y’know?”
• Attack: “Aw, too bad!”
• Death: “What? Really? Ugh.”
• Wickerflame Burnbristle: Wickerflame spent years as a recruit for the Goons, never making the big-time because he always fired his chest-cannon too slowly. "Hey," he thought, "maybe if I keep my beard lit on fire, I can do this faster." BOOM, promoted.
• Play: “WOOO I’m on fire!”
• Attack: “Light ‘em up!”
• Grimestreet Enforcer: "Sir, you don't have a permit to park your mount here."
• Play: “Ya gotta pay up!”
• Attack: “Now!”
• Grimestreet Protector: Some new asphalt should do the trick.
• Play: “You pay, I protect.”
• Attack: “Shoulda paid!”
• Getaway Kodo: Get to da Kodo! Now!
• Smuggler’s Run: One of the most famous busts in Gadgetzan’s history happened on Smuggler’s Run, where Sergeant Sally apprehended a cadre of Grimy Goons transporting a massive number of illegal fish heads.
• Small-Time Recruits: Now we know why they wear tiny watches.

Priest Cards:

• Mana Geode: Gadgetzan, where even the pet rocks have pet rocks.
• Kabal Talonpriest: Inkmaster Solia had to figure out how to tattoo feathers.
• Play: “You wish to live forever?”
• Attack: “Hmm, your soul.”
• Drakonid Operative: His job is to spy on the Goons and the Jade Lotus, but he's OBVIOUSLY a dragon so it's pretty hard work.
• Play: “Secret agent! Coming through!”
• Attack: “Move aside!”
• Kabal Songstealer: Gadgetzan Writer’s Award goes to the player who writes the most compelling fanfic about why this Arrakoa has a golden frog in his hand!
• Play: “I see gold in your future.”
• Raza the Chained: "Could you do me a favor and get the keys from Kazakus?"
• Play: “Surrender your will… to the Kabal.”
• Attack: “I will bind you.”
• Pint-Size Potion: I hope you didn't disenchant your Shadow Word: Horror!
• Potion of Madness: You'd be insane NOT to drink it!
• Greater Healing Potion: Filled with electrolytes!
• Dragonfire Potion: No one was brave enough to fire the dragon in person… so they made the potion do it.

Rogue Cards:

• Gadgetzan Ferryman: Is it just me, or is there something fishy about that ferryman?
• Play: “Need a ride?”
• Attack: “Cast off!”
• Jade Swarmer: He's so good at swarming, he can swarm all by himself!
• Play: “The hidden army rises!”
• Attack: “Swarm!”
• Shadow Rager: WE WENT THERE!
• Shaku, the Collector: Aya even staged an intervention once, but Shaku still insists that he is not a hoarder.
• Play: “Succumb to your darkness…”
• Attack: “Give in…”
• Shadow Sensei: He used to be Aya's tutor, but she fired him for bugging her too much.
• Play: “Learn! The shadow listens!”
• Attack: “From shadow, strike!”
• Lotus Assassin: For 5000g, you can just give the Jade Lotus any name and they will assassinate and/or embarrass them.
• Play: “None… see the Lotus.”
• Attack: “No witnesses.”
• Luckydo Buccaneer: You can't just leave a Luckydo somewhere. You gotta keep 'em with you! Especially in Gadgetzan!
• Play: “Looking for me buried treasure?”
• Attack: “Get your own!”
• Counterfeit Coin: There is something funny about this coin… can't quite put my finger on it…
• Jade Shuriken: Good news is, after you remove it from your wound, you can use it to pay your medical bills!

Shaman Cards:

• Jinyu Waterspeaker: Waterspeakers can tell the future! So the Jade Lotus employs them to speculate on the Auction House.
• Play: “May your feet never brine.”
• Attack: “Tide rrrises!”
• Lotus Illusionist: If you think her Illidan and Sylvanas cosplay is great, wait till you see her Reno Jackson!
• Play: “The Lotus… blossoms.”
• Attack: “I strike!”
• Jade Chieftain: Seeing his Jade Golem grow up into the tall, handsome 6/6 standing before him was the proudest moment of his life.
• Play: “Warriors. Come out to play!”
• Attack: “A… rise!”
• White Eyes: My life for Aya!
• Play: “My life is your shield.”
• Attack: “I protect!”
• The Storm Guardian: [Summoned by White Eyes]
• Play: “Bow before the fury of the storm!”
• Attack: “Lightning strikes!”
• Finders Keepers: INFINITE LOOP!
• Devolve: Ragnaros looked down. He looked like some kind of War Golem. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME," he yelled. But all that came out was a deep grinding sound. He began to cry.
• Call in the Finishers: When you really need a job done… but you don't really care if it gets done right
• Jade Lightning: Jade Lightning, goooo Jade Lightning!
• Jade Claws: "Best manicure ever!" - Aya Blackpaw

Warlock Cards:

• Unlicensed Apothecary: Get the ingredients wrong on ONE healing potion and they take your license. What a world!
• Play: “Join the Kabal, they said! Hmph!”
• Attack: “Wanna drink? Hehehehehahehae!”
• Crystalweaver: The trick is soaking the crystals in warm milk to soften them up.
• Play: “Total corruption, total POWER!”
• Attack: “At ANY price!”
• Seadevil Stinger: Pretty harmless unless you're a Seadevil.
• Kabal Trafficker: She ships illicit mana crystals around the world in packages marked: FUNNEL CAKE.
• Play: “Careful… they bite!”
• Attack: “Warned you!”
• Abyssal Enforcer: The Kabal print this on every package of illicit Mana Crystals: WARNING - DO NOT PUT WITHIN REACH OF ABYSSALS. THIS IS NOT APPROVED FOR USE BY FLAMING DEMONS OF ANY KIND.
• Krul the Unchained: Spicklefizz pondered his life choices as he looked at the chain around his neck. "Become a warlock," they said. "You get to enslave demons," they said.
• Play: “I am the Void. I am YOUR master.”
• Attack: “As I command.”
• Bloodfury Potion: You know what really makes my blood boil? The skyrocketing price of Bloodfury potions!
• Blastcrystal Potion: There's a fine line between "potion" and "grenade". Wait. Actually, there's not.
• Felfire Potion: Kazakus has a squad of imps bottling Felfire round-the-clock and he *still* can't keep up with demand.

Warrior Cards:

• Hobart Grapplehammer: Grapplehammer is the horrible mind behind the Automatic Piranaha Launcher (banned in 7 districts)!
• Play: “Prepare the Mecha Chicken!”
• Attack: “An experiment!”
• Public Defender: Happy to defend any public offender!
• Play: “No body, no crime.”
• Attack: “Defend yourself!”
• Grimestreet Pawnbroker: "I don't know a lot about used GvG cards, so I'm going to have to call in an expert."
• Play: “Go ahead! Blow something up!”
• Attack: “Rockets away!”
• Grimy Gadgeteer: "You look like a Gadgetgun 3000-Mark IV man, am I right?"
• Play: “A-hem. The Whizz-banger Mark Seven.”
• Attack: “I’d feel bad but I don’t.”
• Death: “Booo! Misfire!”
• Alley Armorsmith: The rent is cheap and she passes the savings onto YOU!
• Play: “Suck Gadgetzan steel.”
• Attack: “Take this!”
• I Know a Guy: Well… a guy who knows a guy.
• Sleep with the Fishes: If you're sleeping with the fishes, we highly suggest not bringing an electric blanket.
• Stolen Goods: It fell off a kodo, I promise!
• Brass Knuckles: For the goon that wants to make a fashion statement.