Hearthstone Card Descriptions & Dialogue List #3: Blackrock Mountain & Grand Tournament Sets

Blackrock Mountain

Neutral:

• Dragon Egg: Think of them as bullets for your dragon gun.
• Blackwing Technician: This is who you go to when your Blackwing needs a tune up. Don't go to a cut rate Blackwing tune up shop!
• Play: "My work is paramount! Leave me alone!"
• Attack: "Stooop distracting me!"
• Dragonkin Sorcerer: Dragonkin Sorcerers be all "I'm a wizard" and everyone else be all "daaaaang".
• Play: "Power flows through me."
• Attack: "Limitless power."
• Hungry Dragon: Hungry Hungry Dragon is NOT a fun game.
• Blackwing Corruptor: He got his name when he gave Blackwing some comic books and rock & roll records.
• Play: "I wield the power of Blackwing."
• Attack: "Death to the pretenders."
• Grim Patron: If you love getting your face punched, come to the Grim Guzzler!
• Play: "A fight? Count me in!"
• Attack: "Heheh, pile on!"
• Trigger: "Everyone! Get in here!"
• Emperor Thaurissan: His second greatest regret is summoning an evil Firelord who enslaved his entire people.
• Play: "By the power of RAGNAROS! I! HAVE! THE POWAAAH!"
• Attack: "Die."
• Drakonid Crusher: Drakonids were created to have all the bad parts of a dragon in the form of a humaniod. But, like, why?
• Play: "For Blackwing!"
• Attack: "For the Spire!"
• Volcanic Drake: Volcanic Drakes breathe lava instead of fire. The antacid vendor at Thorium Point does a brisk business with them.
• Rend Blackhand: Rend believes he is the True Warchief of the Horde and he keeps editing the wikipedia page for "Warchief of the Horde" to include his picture.
• Play: "We are the True Horde!"
• Chromaggus: Left head and right head can never agree about what to eat for dinner, so they always end up just eating ramen again.
• Majordomo Executus: You thought Executus turned you into Ragnaros, but really Ragnaros was in you the whole time.
• Play: "None may challenge the Living Flame."
• Attack: "Hunt them down!"
• Nefarian: They call him "Blackwing" because he's a black dragon...... and he's got wings.
• Play: [depends on the class he is facing: “Druid! The wild is MINE to control!”
• “The hunter becomes the hunted.”
• “Mage! You should be more careful when you play with magic!”
• “Paladin! Does the Light forsake you?”
• “Priest! The Light serves ME now!”
• “Rogue! Stop hiding and face me!”
• “Shamans! The Elements obey ME now!”
• “Warlock! You play with magic beyond your understanding!”
• “Warrior! Your strength becomes your weakness!”
• “Your magic is mine!”
• Attack: "Let the games begin!"

Druid Cards:

• Druid of the Flame: Druids who fought too long in Northrend were easily seduced by Ragnaros; a mug of hot chocolate was generally all it took.
• Play: "Bathe in flames."
• Attack: "Ashes!"
• Volcanic Lumberer: The roots, the roots, the roots is on fire!

Hunter Cards:

• Core Rager: It takes a special kind of hunter to venture deep into a firey lava pit and convince a monster who lives there to come home and be a cuddly housepet.
• Quick Shot: Han shot first. 

Mage Cards:

• Flamewaker: Flamewakers HATE being confused for Flamewalkers. They just wake up fire, they don’t walk on it. Walking on fire is CRAZY.
• Play: "I serve the Firelord."
• Attack: "Flame on!"
• Dragon's Breath: Dragons breathe fire, sure, but did you know they can also breathe Cotton Candy? It's harder to give them a reason to do that, though.

Paladin Cards:

• Dragon Consort: Everybody wants someone to snuggle with. Even giant armored scaly draconic beasts of destruction.
• Solemn Vigil: Each year, folk gather in front of Blackrock Mountain to mourn those who were mind-controlled into the lava.

Priest Cards:

• Twilight Whelp: The twilight whelps are basically magic-vampires. Despite this, they are not a reference to any popular series of novels.
• Resurrect: I walked into the dungeon and noticed a slain adventurer. In his final moments, he had scrawled out a message in the dust on the wall beside him. Two words: "rez plz”

Rogue Cards:

• Dark Iron Skulker: He loves skulking. He skulks after hours just for the joy of it, but his friends are pretty worried he'll get burnt out.
• Play: "What lurks in the depths?"
• Attack: "Behind you."
•  Gang Up: If you are thinking about visiting Moonbrook, you better roll deep.

Shaman Cards:

• Fireguard Destroyer: Ragnaros interviews hundreds of Fire Elementals for the position of "Destroyer" but very few have what it takes.
• Play: "The Firelord calls."
• Attack: "All. Will BURN!"
• Lava Shock: Chocolate lava cake is shockingly delicious.

Warlock Cards:

• Imp Gang Boss: His imp gang likes to sneak into Stormwind to spraypaint "Ragnaros Rulez" on the Mage Tower.
• Play: "Gah! Stop yellin'!"
• Attack: "Fine! Ah! Gah!"
• Demonwrath: Demons are not angry most of the time. You have to play this card in order to really bring it out of them.

Warrior Cards:

• Axe Flinger: Once a lowly "Stick Flinger", he's been relentless on the path to his ultimate dream: "Tauren Flinger".
• Play: "Ready ta' fling!"
• Attack: "Stop movin'!"
• Revenge: This is better than Arcane Explosion, so I guess warriors are finally getting revenge on mages for Mortal Strike being worse than Fireball.

__________________________________________________________________________

The Grand Tournament

Neutral Cards:

• Gadgetzan Jouster: It's not HER fault you didn't put a spinning saw blade on your horse.
• Play: "My mount very rarely explodes."
• Attack: "Full speed!"
• Injured Kvaldir: Don't worry. With a little skin cream he's going to clear right up.
• Play: "I'll take ya down with me!"
• Attack: "Breathe your last!"
• Lowly Squire: But not the lowliest!
• Play: "One day, I'll be a real knight."
• Attack: "We're using... real swords?"
• Death: "Run away!"
• Tournament Attendee: He was so excited to get season tickets to this year's Grand Tournament. He normally doesn't get them at first and has to buy them from Ogre scalpers.
• Play: "Best seats ever!
• Attack: "Down in front!"
• Death: "No! My popcorn..."
• Argent Watchman:Who argent watches the Argent Watchman?
• Play: "I'm watching you."
• Attack: "I saw that."
• Boneguard Lieutant: Underneath all that impressive armor, he's just skin and bones. Okay, maybe just bones.
• Play: "Greetings from beyond the grave!"
• Attack: "YOU face death!"
• Flame Juggler:  At first he liked juggling chain saws, but then he thought, "Flames are better! Because FIRE!"
• Play: "It's getting hot in here!"
• Attack: "Toasty!"
• Garrison Commander: He'll never admit it, but he pushes you hard because he really cares about you.
• Play: "Form ranks!"
• Attack: "ATTENSHUN!"
• Lance Carrier: Lance Carrier is an obscure entry level position in orcish armies. A mystery, since orcs don't generally use lances.
• Play: "Gah. What you want?"
• Attack: "Stop poking me!"
• Argent Horserider: His horse's name is Betsy.
• Play: "Don't worry love, the cavalry's here!"
• Attack: "Giddy up!"
• Coliseum Manager: Meets monthly with the gladiators to discuss career goals.
• Play: "Separate lines! Please!"
• Attack: "No ticket, eh?"
• Trigger: "Back to the office."
• Dragonhawk Rider: Check it out. You can do barrel rolls on this thing.
• Play: "Hey! I can see my house from here! Heheheh!"
• Attack: "Seriously?"
• Eydis Darkbane: HATES being called "the wonder twins".
• Play: "Let the dark consume you!"
• Attack: "Chaos!"
• Fjola Lightbane: LOVES being called "the wonder twins".
• Play: "You have been measured and found wanting."
• Attack: "Unworthy!"
• Fencing Coach: Good fencers make good neighbors, right?
• Play: "I am a dancing master!"
• Attack: "Give me your best!"
• Death: "Touche."
• Ice Rager: He's a lot cooler than Magma Rager.
• Light's Champion: When there's something strange (say, a gibbering demon) in your neighborhood, who are you going to call?
• Play: "Depart, foul creature!"
• Attack: "Begone!"
• Master of Ceremonies: Goes by "MC ElfyElf".
• Play: "Two heroes enter. One hero leaves."
• Attack: "Ready to RUM-BLEEEEEEE!"
• Saboteur: Listen all y'all it's a saboteur!
• Play: "Shall we put a kink in their plans?"
• Attack: "Hahaha, sneak attack!"
• Silent Knight: He used to be a librarian. Old habits die hard.
• Play: "Shush!"
• Attack: "Silence!"
• Silver Hand Regent: The Silver Hand is the best paladin organization. The Argent Crusaders are super jealous.
• Play: "Well met."
• Attack: "Be purged!"
• Armored Warhorse: Yep. It's a horse... wearing armor... going to war.
• Crowd Favorite: The crowd ALWAYS yells lethal.
• Play: "Ah. So many viewers."
• Attack: "I have lethal!"
•  Evil Heckler: To be honest, heckling is not the most effective form of evil.
• Play: "Your mother was a Murloc!" or "You smell like a Leper Gnome!"
• Attack: "Boo!" or "You suck!"
•  Frigid Snobold: Ironically, the natural enemy of the snobold is THE CANDLE.
• Play: "You n'n'no t't'take snowball!"
• Attack: "Eat snow!"
• Gormok the Impaler: Gormok has been giving impaling lessons in a small tent near the tournament grounds. For only 25g you too could learn the fine art of impaling!
• Maiden of the Lake: Not a good basis for a system of government.
• Play: "I am freed from the curse."
• Attack: "Take this blade."
• Refreshment Vendor: Menu: Funnel cakes, carrots, popcorn, jormungar steaks. It's hard serving a diverse clientele.
• Play: "Funnel cakes! Get your funnel cakes here!"
• Attack: "Hmmh! Pay up!"
• Death: "B- but I have... more... cakes..."
• Tournament Medic: The medic tournament is less entertaining than the Grand Tournament.
• Play: "Fine. I heal."
• Attack: "Fine! I wand."
• Twilight Guardian: A result of magical experiments carried out by the Black Dragonflight, it's not his fault that he's a vicious killer.
• Clockwork Knight: It takes a lot to wind him up.
• Play: "Right. On. Time!"
• Attack: "Time. To. Die!"
• Death: "My. Time's. Up..."
• Kvaldir Raider: Coming soon... to a tuskarr village near you!
• Play: "I enjoy raiding!"
• Attack: "High tide!"
• Mukla's Champion: An elegant gorilla, for a more civilized age.
• Nexus-Champion Saraad: The ethereals have their own jousting tournament, and Saraad is the reigning champion. Also he won the ethereal hot dog eating contest.
• Play: Let's negotiate. You concede, and I'll let you live."
• Trigger: "A new acquisition."
• Attack: "You had your chance."
• Pit Fighter: What did the pits ever do to you?
• Play: "Yer in trouble now!"
• Attack: "I fight dirty!"
• Recruiter: Join the Argent Crusade! We have attractive tabards and you get to carry really nice swords!
• Play: "Sign up today!"
• Attack: "I want you!"
• Bolf Ramshield: Bolf keeps coming in 2nd at the Grand Tournament. It might be his year this year, if Lebron doesn't enter.
• Play: "Ah'll take on the lot o' ya!"
• Attack: "Whoooo's next?"
• Grand Crusader:A veteran of a number of crusades, she is a force for light and goodness. Her latest crusade is against goblin telemarketers.
• Play: "Answer the call of the light."
• Attack: "For the light!"
• Justicar Trueheart: It's like putting racing stripes and a giant spoiler on your hero power.
• Play: "Welcome to the Grand Tournament, champion."
• Attack: "Disqualified!"
• Kodorider: Someone called her a Rhinorider, and she's NOT HAPPY.
• Play: "Let's get moooo-ving!"
• Attack: "Stampede!"
• Master Jouster: Needs just a few more ratings points to become Grandmaster Jouster.
• Play: "I am... undefeated."
• Attack: "Prepare to lose!"
• Death: "Inconceivable!"
• Mogor's Champion: This champion has learned from the best. Except for his target selection.
• Play: "Mogor want trophy! I get trophy!
• Attack: "Gimme trophy!"
• Trigger: "Uh-oh."
• Sideshow Spelleater: Hey! Let me try that…
• Play: "Ha. I'll take some of that."
• Attack: "Tasty."
• The Skeleton Knight: Apparently it really was just a flesh wound.
• Play: "In the Grand Tournament, you win... or you die."
• Attack: "Pay the iron price!"
• Death: "Not again..."
• Captured Jormungar: You can keep him, but you have to promise to feed him and clean out his tank every day!
• Chillmaw: Chillmaw keeps trying to ruin the Grand Tournament, and she would've done it too, if it weren't for those dang kids!
• Skycap'n Kragg: What's more boss than riding a parrot with a jawbone for a shoulderpad while wielding a giant hook-lance-thing and wearing a pirate hat? NOTHING.
• Play: "Raaar! Rrrrreinforcements be here, har-har!"
• Attack: "Avast!"
• Icehowl: This massive yeti just closes his eyes and charges at the nearest target. The nearest Target is a couple blocks away and has sick deals on skateboards.
• North Sea Kraken: You have no idea how tired this guy is of being released.
• Frost Giant: Don't ask him about the beard. JUST DON'T.

Druid Cards:

• Darnassus Aspirant: She loves mana crystals, she hates mana crystals. So fickle!
• Play: "Elune guide my lance."
• Attack: "For Elune."
• Druid of the Saber: That's saberTEETH, not like curved pirate blades. That's a different kind of druid. Druid of the Curved Pirate Blades.
• Play: "Another night on the prowl."
• Attack: "Hear me ROAR!"
• Death: "Meow..."
• Savage Combatant: Maybe if you whistle a tune it will soothe him. Yeah... Try that.
• Play: "Unleash the beasts."
• Attack: "Nature strikes!"
• Wildwalker: She was born to be something. She is just not quite sure what yet...
• Play: "Take a walk in the wild side!"
• Attack: "Born to be wild!"
• Knight of the Wild: He gets a discount on the tournament entry fee because he is his own horse.
• Play: "The Khans shall claim victory!"
• Attack: "For the Khans!"
• Death: "KHAAAAAN!"
• Aviana: Call her "Tweety". She'll find it real funny. I PROMISE.
• Play: "My winged children fill the skies."
• Attack: "These talons will be your end."
• Living Roots: 2 out of 2 saplings recommend that you summon the saplings.
• Mulch: Is this a noun or a verb? We will never know.
• Astral Communion: Hey! Moon! Can I have some mana crystals?

Hunter Cards:

• Brave Archer: This is a 'bearly' concealed reference.
• Play: "Today, I don't have to be a princess."
• Attack: "Oh, shoot!"
• King's Elekk: Elekk jousting is AWESOME.
• Dreadscale: Let's be clear about this: ACIDMAW is the sidekick.
• Stablemaster: Takes way better care of her pets than her brother, Unstablemaster.
• Play: "Och, whossa good boy?"
• Attack: "Play dead!"
• Death: "Agh, blast!"
• Ram Wrangler: Not getting trampled is really the trick here.
• Play: "Th' beasts obey me."
• Attack: "By fang and claw!"
• Acidmaw: With the help of his trusty sidekick Dreadscale, the giant jormungar Acidmaw is ready to face any knight!
• Bear Trap: You'll never guess what's in that conveniently bear-sized, bear-smelling box.
• Lock and Load: Rexxar narrowed his eyes, grabbed his machine gun, and said: "It's go time. Lock and load." This card pays homage to that special moment.
• Powershot: pow POW pow
• Ball of Spiders: "THEY'RE EVERYWHERE GET THEM OFF!!!" - Everyone

Mage Cards:

• Fallen Hero: And he can't get up.
• Play: "Finally. A second chance!"
• Attack: "Your turn to fall!"
• Spellslinger: Does he sling spells, or do his spells linger about. Who can say?
• Play: "Wanted. Dead or alive!"
• Attack: "Draw!"
• Dalaran Aspirant: Is he aspiring or inspiring? Make up your mind!
• Play: "Knowledge is power. And I know a lot!"
• Attack: "So, here's where you're wrong."
• Trigger: "I learn!"
• Coldarra Drake:The Grand Tournament has a "No dragons allowed" policy, but it's rarely enforced.
• Rhonin: A masterless shamurai.
• Play: "The might of Dalaran has arrived!"
• Attack: "BEHOLD!"
• Death: "Save yourselves..."
• Arcane Blast:Now with 100% more blast!
• Effigy: Burning man, brah.
• Polymorph: Boar: It's always Huffer.
• Flame Lance: It's on the rack next to ice lance, acid lance, and English muffin lance.

Paladin Cards:

• Warhorse Trainer: He doesn't even get Sundays off. Every day he's hostling.
• Play: "Mount up!"
• Attack: "Charge!"
• Murloc Knight: Hee hee! Look at his cute little feet.
• Tuskarr Jouster: Just could not be talked out of using his turtle for the joust...
• Play: "Is this the fishing tournament?"
• Attack: "TURTLE POWER!"
• Mysterious Challenger: He may sound surly and antisocial, but he's actually just really shy.
• Play: "Who am I? None of your business."
• Attack: "Stop asking questions!"
• Eadric the Pure: Nobody rocks a monocle like Eadric.
• Play: "Prepare yourselves... For the ultimate test!"
• Attack: "I will not hold back!"
• Death: "May I… run away now?"
• Competitive Spirit: Competition can be an inspiration to improve oneself. Or kill all the competitors.
• Seal of Champions: "Arf! Arf! Arf!" - Seal of Champions
• Enter the Coliseum: You have to get past the vendors first. So many are lost to shopping...
• Argent Lance: The stripes make it look like a candy cane, but we recommend against licking it.

Priest Cards:

• Wyrmrest Agent: Keeping tabs on the Grand Tournament is priority #1 for the five mighty Dragonflights!
• Play: "Are you mocking me?"
• Attack: "You think this is funny?"
• Shadowfiend: Hopes to be promoted to "Shadowfriend" someday.
• Holy Champion: She really likes seeing people get better. That's why she hurts them in the first place.
• Play: "How many fingers do you see?"
• Attack: "Does this hurt?!"
• Spawn of Shadows: What did you expect to happen? He's a Spawn. Of Shadows.
• Play: "Are you afraid of the dark?"
• Attack: "Hit the lights!"
• Confessor Paletress: She sees into your past and makes you face your fears. Most common fear: Getting Majordomo out of Sneed's Old Shredder.
• Play: "Take this time to consider your past deeds."
• Attack: "Confess!"
• Flash Heal: Flash! Ahhhhhhh~
• Power Word: Glory: The promise of glory is a powerful tool to get minions to do your bidding. Only slightly less powerful than the promise of an ice cream bar!
• Confuse: This minion is really powerful!
• Convert: "Are you interested in... HEALTH benefits?!"

Rogue Cards:

• Buccaneer: The best part of buccaneering is the pants.
• Play: "Feed the fish, landlubber!"
• Attack: "Yo-ho-ho!"
• Cutpurse: He has a giant collection of purses now. One for every outfit!
• Play: "What'cha got there?"
• Attack: "Cha-ching!"
• Death: "I was robbed!"
• Undercity Valiant: Almost went to play for Stormwind before signing with Undercity.
• Play: "Victory for Sylvanas."
• Attack: "Join us in death."
• Shady Dealer: I have great deal for you... for 4 damage to your face!
• Play: "Psst, want a deal?"
• Attack: "It's a deal!"
• Shado-Pan Rider: He needed a break after that business in the Vale of Eternal Blossoms. Naturally, he chose to spend his vacation in an icy snowscape killing monsters.
• Play: "We are the sword in the shadows."
• Attack: "Shadow strike!"
• Anub'arak: Was actually a pretty nice guy before, you know, the whole Lich King thing.
• Play: "From the depths I come!"
• Attack: "OBLIVION AWAITS!" 
• Death/Trigger: "I'll be back!"
• Beneath the Grounds: Can you hold these eggs for just a second? I promise they're not full of giant enraged undead spider things.
• Burgle: Yoink!
• Poisoned Blade: How much more poisoned can a blade get? The answer is a lot. A lot more poisoned.

Shaman Cards:

• Totem Golem: What happens when you glue a buncha totems together.
• Tuskarr Totemic: Turns out the tuskarr aren't real choosy about their totems.
• Play: "Did you bring some fish?"
• Attack: "Tusk tusk!"
• Draenei Totemcarver: It's nice to find a real craftsman in this day and age of mass-produced totems.
• Play: "Elements I like. Totems? I looove."
• Attack: "Tote away."
• Death: "Bwah! … drat."
• Thunder Bluff Valiant: Allowing totems to attack is not cheating. I mean, there isn't anything in the rule books about it.
• Play: "There is a lot at stake here."
• Attack: "Do! Not! Push me!"
• The Mistcaller: Calling the mist doesn't sound all that great. "Ooooh, it is slightly damp now!"
• Play: "You cannot stop the Kvaldir!"
• Attack: "Mists cleanse you!"
• Ancestral Knowledge: MOMMMMMYYYYYYYYY!!!
• Elemental Destruction: I'm not a shaman or anything, but isn't Elemental Destruction the opposite of what they want to do?
• Healing Wave: Favored by shaman who study the art of restoration and healing, this spell would feel smug, if it had feelings.
• Charged Hammer: You can only pick it up if you are worthy.

Warlock Cards:

• Tiny Knight of Evil: "No, no, no. I asked for a tiny JESTER of evil."
• Play: "Small in size, huge in eeeeee-vil!"
• Attack: "Here! We! Go!"
• Wrathguard: After playing against 5 Annoy-O-Trons, any normal guard will become a Wrathguard.
• Play: "You will regret this."
• Attack: "Feel. My pain."
• Dreadsteed: Crescendo himself summoned this steed, riding it to victory in the Grand Tournament. Wherever he rides, an army of riders ride behind him, supporting the legendary champion.
• Void Crusher: We like to call him "Wesley".
• Play: "I don't like this place."
• Attack: "The void calls."
• Fearsome Doomguard: They were originally called Cuddleguards, but they were not inspiring the proper amount of fear.
• Play: "DOOM for everyone! Gah-hahahaa!"
• Attack: "DOOM for YOU!"
• Death: Doom... for me."
• Wilfred Fizzlebang: He can summon anything, even a FEARSOME DOOMGUARD*. *He's pretty sure this is going to work out.
• Play: "Behold! The absolute power of Wilfred Fizzlebang! Ah ha ha!"
• Play: [w/ Jaraxxus] "You are bound to me, demon! Uh-heh, I think..."
• Attack: "Prepare... for oblivion!" 
• Death: "But I'm in charge here! Ah!"
• Demonfuse: Very dangerous when attached to a demonbomb.
• Fist of Jaraxxus: * Not actually Jaraxxus' fist.
• Dark Bargain: A prime example of lose-lose negotiating.

Warrior Cards:

• Alexstrasza's Champion: "Put more spikes on her. No, more spikes. What part of 'more spikes' do you not understand? MORE SPIKES!" - Alexstrasza
• Play: "For the Lifebinder!"
• Attack: "For the Dragon Queen!"
• Sparring Partner: Come at me, bro.
• Play: "Practice makes perfect."
• Attack: "En garde!"
• Orgrimmar Aspirant: "Four out of three orcs struggle with math." - Angry Zurge
• Play: "Ready your lance, cur!"
• Attack: "Defend yourselves!"
• Magnataur Alpha: Playing him also gets you into the Magnataur Beta.
• Sea Reaver: A little better than Sea Minus Reaver.
• Play: "The seas belong to us!"
• Attack: "You will drown!"
• Trigger: "Cleaving time!"
• Varian Wrynn: Leader of the Alliance! Father of Anduin! Also he likes to play Arena, and he averages 12 wins.
• Play: "Behold! The armies of Stormwind!"
• Play: [against Anduin] "Your skills are growing, Anduin."
• Attack: "For the glory of Stormwind!"
• Bolster: The best offense is a good defense.
• Bash: You might think bashing doesn't take a lot of practice. It doesn't.
• King's Defender: "King's Attacker" is a shield. Funny, huh?